Let talk about sex, again, shall we

I wanted to clarify my post from the other night. It might have read a bit, like I think you should only be having sex if you are married. Ah, no! I am not thinking that at all. I think I was in mommy mode a bit and thinking about young adults, reacting to a certain segment of the populations stance on the vaccine Gardasil.

I am 100% of the opinion that what adults do, in the privacy of their own homes and with whom is not anyone business but their own. The government should not be involved.

Furthermore, I am of the opinion that that whatever works, well works. As long as it involves consenting adults. Period. End of discussion.

Having spent a fair amount of time in Europe, I have to say the Puritan influences are not the norm everywhere. Europeans have very healthy attitudes about sex. Granted, being able to buy porn in the train station, was an eye opener when I was 16, but seriously - they talk to their kids about sex. Sex is seen as normal and natural.

I think that everyone has to decide for themselves what it ok and what is not. There is no one size fits all approach to the matter of sex. I also will wager a guess that it is process of self discovery and actualization. That is why I am a big believer in good, well rounded, honest sex education for young people. As stated knowledge is power.

Bad TV Karma!

We bought a new TV recently. Our old one was seriously on its last leg. The picture quality was really bad. Really bad. We limped along with it for over a year. Recently it got worse and we bought a new one. H and I almost never watch TV. It just does not hold my attention for very long. I prefer to read or do other things with my time. H is seldom home and has honestly never been a huge TV viewer.

Now, I have to say that there are a few (very few) shows which I actually think are good, worth my time and I enjoy, but I swear I have bad TV karma. On the nights I decide I want to watch a given show, it is either not on or a rerun. Seriously, what are the chances, with my limited TV viewing that I am going to see the same show more than once in a season. Well, surprisingly high actually.

Tonight is a perfect example. I wanted to watch Cold Case & Without a Trace on CBS. I think they are well done shows and they actually hold my attention. Yep, you guessed it. Both were reruns, of shows I had already seen.

It kills me. I plan a slack off for an evening and what do I get..... reruns....mmm someone is trying to tell me something.

Let's talk about sex?

For the record, I was a sexual health awareness peer educator. I got paid to go into the dorms, frat houses, and other group settings to talk about sex and how to make safe and healthy decisions. Seriously, the decisions you make about sex impact you for a lifetime. I believe you need all the information available to make those choices. Information is power. Truly it is, limited information limits power.

I also am a big believer that most of us live our lives in the gray area. Very seldom is life totally black or white. It is all shades of gray. It is also crazy to think that choices you make at 15, 25, 35, will all be the same. Seriously, human beings have free will and sometimes we change our minds.

So where am I going with this.....

I will tell you!

Gardasil, the vaccine for HPV is a good idea. Seriously. Cervical cancer kills 10 women in the US a day. Most cervical cancer is caused by a strain of the HPV virus. Also, hello - this is a vaccine which works for a virus! BIGTIME NEWS. Others might be on the way.....

I agree that young girls should not be having sex. How old is old enough, I am not sure. I think 14 is too young. Is 16, 18, 20 mmm not sure. But bottom line, this vaccine works best when given to women ages 9 to 26. It is taken over a period of months and requires three shots. It costs $360, but it could save a woman's life.

There are two big anti arguments. First there is no long term track record. This is an issue. I get that. That is a valid reason to wait and see.

The other issue is that many conservatives think that it will increase a girls likelihood of engaging in premartial sex. What? Are they even in the ball park. Hormones and natural curiosity increases a girls changes of engaging in sex. (Hell, if she is like me tell me not to do something and boy howdy I want to do it more.) Peer pressure or pressure from a boyfriend increases her chances of engaging in sex. Having a vaccine that will likely lower her risk for cervical cancer, should she be exposed to HPV - really I just don't see a connection.

I also do not believe that young people need to wait to have sex until they are married. I think everyone has their own opinion there and it is up to every individual to make that choice. Again knowledge is power. There are no one size fits all answers. Again, lots of gray area.

Abstinence only sex ed has a really high failure rate. For better or worse, young men and women are having sex. But let's just assume for a moment (I know it is hard, but let's all stretch our gray matter a bit) - that everyone was going to refrain from having sex until they get married. Does that mean Gardasil is no longer an important vaccine. Ahh, no. There is no guarantee that everyone will remain faithful. That no man is going to visit with a prostitute while one vacation. (It is called the worlds oldest profession for a reason.) That no marriages are going to fail and adults might be tempted.

The truth of the matter is we have a way to prevent certain cervical cancers. We should jump on that. While we are at it, we should be talking to our daughters and sons and sharing our views on sex. We are their best teachers. But at the end of the day, they are their own people, they will make this decision on their own and I for one, want to do what I can to protect them... knowledge is power.

Pricessess, Witches and Divas, OH MY!

H and I have attempted to stem the flow of Disney princesses into L's life. So far we have been reasonable successful. Seriously, at two years of age, did she need a collect of cheap princess junk. No, I think not.

But now as she approaches 5, she is into princesses. She likes to talk about Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle and the like. We have been reading non-Disney books about them all. We have also been watching a bit of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, and the Little Mermaid.

I am not sure how I feel about this all. I want her to be culturally literate and on pare with her peers, but I also want to make sure that she grows up to be a strong, confident woman.

So from time to time, I ask leading questions or just probe a bit to see what she has on her princess mind.

So I asked her the other day, "When you play princesses at school, who gets to be the prince."

She looks at me as if I have three sets of eyes and says, "Mom, we don't need a prince, really, Mom! We are modern princesses."

Oh!

Then the other day in the car she begins to really drill down to the plot in Little Mermaid.

"Mom. If Ursula is disguised as Vanessa and using Ariel's voice, which she took from her, it should sound the same. But it does not. Ariel's voice was prettier. Why is that."

So I decided to test again. "Why do you think that it is not a pretty."

She pauses and says, "Well Ursula is mean. So I think Ariel's voice can only be pretty when Ariel has it, since she is nice."

I mention that beauty comes from the inside. Which L thought about for a long time.

I am still not sure about the princess deal, but then my princess rode her bike today singing that she was a princess, who was strong and powerful. The entire bike ride.

Yeah, so about being a DIVA?

What's that smell

This is another post inspired by L.

It is spring. That means it is time for MULCH. Yes, that stinky stuff. The other day in the park, L announces that mulch is "stinky like a rhinoceros." MMMM, not sure, I tend to hold my breath near the rhinos at that zoo.

But it got me thinking.

I have smelled some really noxious stuff in my former career.

Right, you say, you worked in finance, what did you smell exactly? Money, right!

Wrong.

Giving 401K enrollment meetings, I have been some pretty smelly places.

For example, nothing smells quiet like the paint booths in an automobile plant. That paint is really stinky. Made me feel lighted headed. Now it is way cool to watch car chaises being painted, but the smell of paint will give you a major head rush. (I have seen this in two separate plants.)

The chemicals used to clean the paint totes (the big paint cans used in the paint booths. They look like giant gallon milk containers. They are metal. Seriously, they are almost taller than me.) Anyway, the solvent used to clean them and the paint fumes combine to make a really interesting smell. In fact, I would smell it for days later after visiting the job site. Weird, right. I have no idea if I was really smelling it or if it was just a trick my brain was playing on me. Combine that with the noise they make on the production line - a banging - a noise that I am struggling to describe. It was a sensory extravaganza.

How about the smells at an oil & natural gas refinery? Yeah, it is an odd combo of bus fumes, sulfur, wet soot and something a bit earthy. On a hot day it also smells a bit like a freshly tarred parking lot or driveway. Lots of smells for the nose to deal with there. I also got to smell them for a bit, via a respirator. Apparently they are so noxious, you need to wear noise protection. Great! ( I also had to wear a bright orange flame retarded jumpsuit, over my business suit. WOW what fun!)

A little know fact, but meat packing plants have big vats that collect the blood and waste matter. Yup! I know this because a client cleaned those using super suction trucks. Then there are places that take this sludge and do something with it. (I did not ask, I seriously did not want to know......) But let me just say that the odor coming from the trucks was horrible. In July - beyond words. Kinda like the smell you get at the grocery in the meat department BUT multiplied by 1000! It was stinky. Honestly, it was throw up smelly. I tried really hard to breath very shallowly for the hour or so I was there.

Shot gun shot. Yep, I saw it made. It is lead based and is made by dropping little droplets of the molten lead into water baths. It was cool to watch, thru the protective windows on the cat walk, but on the shop floor, the air is biting with a smell of sulfur and oily metal and it is hot, like 90 degrees and the sizzle from the water baths is eerie. So hot and steamy combined with a smell of sulfur. Yeah, stinky and uncomfortable.

So, while I am not sure if mulch stinks like a rhino or not, but I will say this, it smells way better than alot of the other stuff I have smelled.