Music Monday - Little Talks

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

If I had to pick a song of 2012 that really speaks to me, this is it. So far this year. I like the sound, I love the lyrics and I love the fact that it is a conversation between the two singer.

I will tell you a secret, which maybe won't surprise any of you. This blog started after my MIL died. I was lost. So much had changed for me and so fast. I had go from working full time on a career path that I was good at but largely felt ambivalent about. Other than being a passionate advocate for my clients and enjoying the fact that I made really decent money for someone in her twenties. I could have cared less.

I started MBA school as a way out. I felt stuck and I knew that the soul sucking really couldn't continue much past my 30th birthday if I wanted to get out alive and whole.

Then that terrible day happened, that lovely Tuesday morning was shattered and we as a nation shattered with it. I don't think we have really gotten over it.

I got pregnant. After a year and a half of trying...

And I was trying to be a working mom and frankly, I was sucking at both some days. It is really hard. I resented my soul sucking job every single day. I wanted to be home with my baby, and felt guilty about that too. I was a modern woman. I had worked hard to get my degree and I had worked hard to prove myself to the world (of men in suits) that I was worthy.

I wanted to tell the world to f-off most days.

I left the corporate world to spend the summer with L and then return to MBA school full time. One year and I would have my degree and I would be ready to seek the next challenge.

Have I introduced you to E? He is a blessing and a treasure...

Having the kids changed my life...

As have the passings of my MIL and my mother this fall. My 30s have not been about what I thought they would be about.

Losing a baby, too...

I have felt, over the course of my 30s a bit like the female lead singer in this song... like I am losing my mind bit by bit... This ripping apart went soul deep. I started on a journey after my MIL died which has lasted until now. This shattering has been a boon to my creativity, if not a bit too much sometimes. I have learned new skills for managing this process and still being present in the day to day.

So much growth and accommodation, love and discovery.

The ship does indeed come to carry you safe to shore...


And I will say this, this group hails from Iceland. The strangest thing is, I felt at home in Iceland. Never mind that the sun is in overdrive in the summer and then hibernates nearly the entire winter. Never mind the land is flat and you can see for miles, until bam, there is a massive hill, or ravine or waterfall.

Below is a picture of a house in Iceland. They are built to withstand the mighty winds. I also think that they do actually talk... there is magic in the air all over Iceland.

Around the house...

H and I have been making some changes around the house. When we bought our house, we both fell in love with some aspects and others we knew we would some day change. It has been a long process, filled with babies, new jobs and a busy life. The kitchen and master bath came first. Then I tackled the mudroom this spring and summer (and the hallway that connects the mudroom and the kitchen.) Then we moved immediately into the family room. We were couchless for much of the process. This amazed and confused the children's friends. L's BFF asked repeatedly, "when are you getting a new couch?" E's new school buddy asked, "Where do we sit?" E explained that is why the room had a floor. I know we are quirky. No way was I painting the room with new furniture.

About a month ago we moved in these guys from IKEA. It seems strange to unpack your couch from a box and then assemble it, but we did it and I think it was more than worth it. I love that in a few years, if I get bored, I can change slip covers and much more cost effectively than buying a brand new couch. (The current slip cover is dry cleanable also! A decided bonus in my opinion.)

I would also be remiss - not mentioning I finally have a chaise. I have wanted one forever... we did put the chair and chaise together for a unconventional love seat.

As I mentioned, this summer we focused on the family room. It had been a yellowish cream and we changed it to a warm, rich light brown. I love the color. H isn't in love with it, even though he picked it. We also got a new sofa and love seat chaise combo. The biggest change is we replaced the drafty, cheap and poorly installed faux french doors with a beautiful, energy efficient window. I love the change. Another coat of paint and it will be time to buy blinds, curtains and lamps.

And no we did not forget to remove the stickers, the kids and I have been decorating for Halloween. We love window clings.

For anyone who has visited us, it is noticeable that there is very little art on the walls. H and I have different and I mean radically different taste in art. We also put it off, because we were always going to "redo the family room." Knowing he favors pasture scenes with cows and dogs and I am more into impressionism and modern art, I decided, why not photographs, better yet, why not our OWN photographs. Better yet, why not photographs of one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, Iceland. So when Living Social did an offer for Image Canvas I jumped on it. It really was a good deal and the results are very nice. Exactly what I wanted.

While nothing can be done about the awful cold air return, we have done our best and I love the photos. Also, the service from Image Canvas was wonderful. Reasonable turn around time and reasonable shipping costs.

And while H was hanging pictures, a task he relishes with the utmost joy, I asked him to hang these two as well. I bought these, almost 4 years ago, while in NYC. I stumbled upon a market or flea or something at University Circle (or is it a square) and I really liked them. Just this summer, I finally, had them framed. They are vodka bottles with flowers, so I decided we should hang them over the bar.

The pumpkins my mom gave us and the owls are my most recent obsession. They stay, the jack-o-lanterns will be with us through Halloween. The tape - that is caution tape and I have plans for that, just wait. We are going all out this Halloween.

Remember those squash vines I blogged about all summer. Well they yielded three pumpkins, two possible squash and about three dozen gourds. The kids' teachers got gourds, neighbors have gotten gourds and my BFF got some too... I arranged these guys on our mantel. Again, the paint color really sets them off nicely.

I think the kids have rearranged them about a dozen times but they are all from our yarden. A few of them night be squash but I am not sure, so I am going to refrain from eating them.

We really love Halloween and this weekend is apple picking and pumpkin gathering. Some of the most fun things to do in the fall. I cannot declare the family finished until I tackle window treatments and lighting, but it feels good to get cozy on the new sofa or chaise and blog!

30 Day Photo Challage - Day 29 Clouds

I tried to get cloud pictures today. They either did not come out well or were full on overcast and wait, pouring down rain!

So for those of you who have been waiting for Iceland pictures. I am going with a fantastic picture of Gullfoss. The approach and the parking area are underwhelming but then, then you hear the rush of water and feel the mist and then you see views like this...

Th clouds are amazing. You can view the falls from three levels and this is mid range. I remember thinking the clouds were very low, but they weren't, we were just climbing higher and higher.

I love these kinds of clouds, followed by the angry gray violet ones you see in the spring. When I was younger I used to lay in the grass and watch the clouds and think about what they looked like. Or I would swing on the swings trying to go as high as possible, hoping to touch the clouds. One of the best things about H learning to fly a small plane, when we were first married, is the clouds. I finally got to be up close and personal with the clouds.

Naked Sunfish - Iceland

I promise to return to my Iceland series later this week. I haven't forgotten about it, just been busy, in part writing this travel piece.

If you didn't know I wrote for the Naked Sunfish (cuz you haven't been following me on Twitter or Facebook) I do.

This round I did a travel piece and not my regular Hopscotch.

I cannot say enough good things about the Naked Sunfish. It is a labor of love and every issue is better than the previous. It is an honor.

So - go check out Iceland - A Beautiful Study in Ambiguity and Irony

Iceland Inspired: Traveling with Kids and the beauty of a guesthouse

I know you want pictures, but it is my series and I am writing as things bubble forth, it will be worth the wait, I promise.

So L is almost 9 and E is 6. We have not stopped traveling but traveling is harder with young children. They have sleep schedules, nap times, grumpy times and short attention spans. There are limitations in terms of how much walking, looking, trekking and the like they are willing and frankly capable of in any given day. H and I spent many an afternoon in our hotel bathroom when we went to Germany the first time with L in tow, when she was 20 months old, in an effort to get her to take a nap. It was not fun, it made H very grumpy.

I will admit kids have crimped H and I's wanderlust just a bit. Or so I had thought. This trip, we all traveled well, managed to be sweet and even tempered and we had a great time. Part of this is the kids are older and I have learned how to manage them a bit better. One has to be realistic.

I knew I was in trouble on our honeymoon, when after weeks of stress, a long ass flight, lost luggage and some wacky timezone insomnia, we sit down by the pool, for a day of relaxation and tranquility pool side, H, five minutes in says to me, "I am going to go check out the other pool." Then 5 minutes later, "Maybe I will go for a swim." Five minutes later, "Are you really going to sit here all morning? Don't you want to go for a walk on the beach?" I finally said, "Do you want to go for a drive." That was the last time, the entire trip we sat by the pool. H is not a sitter. He is a doer. He likes to trek.

H treks with the strength and determination of a bull. This is a great thing really. One of the things I really love about him. Give him a map, point him in a direction and he can find anything. He is ready and willing to adventure. We did this on our first trip to Europe. We had some beginning points and end points and we made up the rest as we went along. We ask locals what they like, what do they think is worth seeing. We look through the guidebooks and free local papers. We are urban adventurers.

Little kids can make this sort of wandering harder. They want to eat at certain times, sleep at certain times and can be picky about food, sleeping conditions and the like.

For a while this was a confounding muddle, now I think I have worked some of the kinks, again some of it is the natural aging process and some of it is proper planning.

Sleep, I have found is the key ingredient to happy and manageable, agreeable children.

Behold the power of a suite. Sleep is also the key ingredient to happy and patient and unfrazzled parents.

My advice, spring for a suite.

(Also, I have to say, for me, given my food issues, a kitchen or access to a kitchen is a must. I jut cannot eat in a restaurant night after night, playing roulette with my tummy.  Also I find that the kiddos do better with lunch out and dinner in.)

In Iceland, I found a Guest house with an apartment, which was like a suite. I found this by letting google do the searching. It was a total score.

Butterfly Guesthouse, centrally located, clean and breakfast is included. It was exactly what we needed and the owners were super friendly and helpful. There was absolutely nothing we did not like about this guesthouse. I would happily stay there again in a heart beat.

 (this is from their website, in all 405 pictures I took, it never occurred to me to photograph the Guesthouse.)

I had a feeling going in, that this would be the best bet. Why you say? Because I got a good vibe from the email exchanges and the telephone call. I went with my gut and it was right on. It helps that H and I have stayed in many European guesthouses and we know what to expect.

I really cannot say enough nice things about Thuridur and Jon's charming guesthouse. It was super clean, there advice was top notch and they have a car available for rental also.

The kids felt at home and comfortable and it really was worth every penny.

We arrived late Monday night and their son met us, guided us upstairs and to my surprise and delight, there was milk in the fridge, a selection of cereals and teas. Perfect. The kids needed something in their tummies before we crashed after a long day of travel. This had been my concern about arriving late, but it turned out well.

We took Tuesday easy, allowing the kids to "sleep in" and then just had an unstructured day of grocery shopping and wandering. We were early to bed Tuesday night, thus getting ourselves easily on Iceland time. Sure we "lost" a day of trekking time, BUT the kids were manageable because they were well rested for the balance of the trip. H chaffs at this notion. He wants to see it all. With kids however - one must balance seeing it all with enjoying that which you do see. At least I think so.

Next Up - How we spent our amazing Wednesday!

Iceland Inspired: The one thing I did not like

I decided you might think I was completely in love and that might make you think I was wearing rose colored glasses, if I only talked about how wonderful Iceland was, so I will get out of the way the one thing I did not like and actually, I feel this way about so many places I go.

Trinkets.

I try to shop locally when in my hometown, this desire does not go on hiatus when I travel. I can get cheap Chinese manufactured crap here at home. When I travel and want a souvenir, I want it to not just say the name of a particular place, I actually prefer it to be made there. I do not want a magnet made by Chinese children in a sweat shop embossed with the gold shiny words "Iceland." I understand that some people collect this sort of refrigerator liter, I am not one of them.

L and E do not really enjoy this about me, as they are attracted to the glitter snow globes with the lopsided gold words Iceland and they are mad about stuffed animals, but I feel strongly it is my job to raise discerning consumers and one cannot start this too early. While they protested a bit, I do think they are much happier now with their locally manufactured choices than yet another stuffed animal with the tag - "made in China" attached.

Sadly the bulk of what we saw in the tourist shops and the quasi-touristy shops fell into this category. Even the famous Icelandic woolens, if one is not careful are actually made in Nepal. One has to be very discerning. Ask questions too. I found that the sales people and shop keepers were willing to be honest about the place origin for the goods they were selling and buyer beware, much of the merchandise did not have a "made in ..." label, so you have to ask, if you want to know. It further seems to me and I am not certain this is the case, the shops which seem to be full of the tourist trap made elsewhere goods are also the shops which offer an automatic tax rebate, which is significant given the VAT is rather staggering verses American sales tax. I think this is probably based on volume, but the reality is government tax practices and tariffs or incentives encourages or discourages the type of behavior government wants to see and if you want to support local crafts people, stop offering the rebate on imported items. It really is that easy. (Just my free advise -  oh Icelandic Parliament.)

I am pleased to report that at the weekend flee market, Kolaportið Flea Market, in downtown Reykjavík, does have some booths, which feature local Icelandic crafts people. L got a wonderful glass wall hanging which has actual soot and ash from the volcano inside. It is very cool.

I got a very nice pair of artisan made earrings, with polished lava stones.

The flea market had some vendors selling cheap plastic trinkets imported from everyone's favorite sweatshop and certainly some booths resembles someone yard sale. If you are willing to shop, you might be able to score a great Iceland woolen sweater or other hand knit item at a really reasonable price. As always, it is buyer beware.

Also check out one of the Red Cross shops or the Salvation Army resale shop. One can find a nice Iceland knit item there from time to time, we were told. There is also a children's charity woolen shop, which seemed to be closed more often than not and therefore we could not check it out, but our free tour guide suggested it.

As I took a walk one evening, I lucked out and found the nice little shop - Níu heimar / Nine Worlds. This shop features hand made items by local artists. Many of the items are tied to Norse mythology and Iceland's pagan past and present. I bought a few small items here. It is a joy to support local crafts people. Their hours are sporadic, so shop early and often, is my advice. I found them open on Saturday afternoon, which was our last day in Iceland. It was fortuitous indeed.

There were other little shops, off the main drag which we checked out and might have browsed a bit more, but this trip was not about shopping. I am mentioning this, so if you do fall in love Iceland as you read my series, and decide to pay  Iceland a visit, you too can shop locally. I really think it is worth the extra money, if you choose to shop, to buy local. Supporting the local crafts people and artisans is invaluable.


Next week - My thoughts on traveling with older children and finding a place to stay.

New Series: Iceland Inspired

I took so many pictures in Iceland. I was well and truly inspired. On so many levels. To do the trip justice, I am not going to be able to just write one quick post, the experience was more complex than that. The country, the scenery, the experience more complex than that.

I am not an inexperienced traveler, I have been all over German speaking Europe. I have been to the Caribbean. I have been to another volcanic island, Hawaii. I have been up and down the East coast of the US, all around Florida and many other interesting and beautiful places. Napa Valley, SanFran, NYC, Sleepy Bear Dunes in MI.

There was something very exotic  and very exciting about Iceland. There was something magical about this being the first family vacation, where the kids really could experience it and could do more. No strollers and no naps to think about.

The experience has taken some processing, me thinking about how best to share it, how best to talk about the experience in a detached travel blogger sort of way and then how to explain and share how the experience touched me, changed me, inspired me. I feel energized as a writer after Iceland (maybe it was the act of taking a vacation, I don't know, I can't say.)

So I am going to do a multi-part series. I will tag it Iceland for ease of searching in the future.  Please ask questions, understanding that I am writing this series as I go, based on an outline and will likely write some of it on the fly as the mood strikes me.

For now - look at one of my favorite pictures. I think it answers the question - Why Iceland?