Over the winter break-- just over 2 weeks plus a bit with E's illness, I started watching the show Lost Girl. I highly recommend it. Season 1 and 2 is on Netflix. Season 3 starts all around the world this week. (I know I have been an obsessive slug... 2 seasons, well the first one was short... but yeah, I have been a viewing fiend. Take note, this is rare, that something holds my attention this long.)
In Season 2 Episode 15 -- they end with this song.
I went back to figure out what the song was and am sharing it with you.
Little seems written about the artist. I found this about Benjamin Gonner online. There is a tiny bit more written here.
So enjoy... (strictly speaking, this song really isn't safe for work or quiet coffee houses or small kiddos...)
We can do better America. We can do better. If only we imagine a world drenched in LOVE... not hate and blood...
Children are dying in suburban America. Young girls are being blown up in Afghanistan while collecting firewood. Kids are being crushed in building being blown up in Syria. Children are dying on the streets of America, because they have inadequate health care and lack of food. Children are dying due to the very actions of adults. Adults, who choose selfishness over love and responsibility.
It needs to stop. It must stop... It stops with us... When we stand up and say enough.
I allow Christmas music in the house. Seriously, there are 12 Days of Christmas if you believe that song, so really, I ask you, do we really need to break out the Holiday Tunes the minute the candles burn out in our jack-o-lanterns.
The kids have been teasing me, singing silly changed up versions of Frosty...
E confided that he and Daddy sneaked some Christmas music while I was out of the house with L. His little face was so cute and mischievous.
And L and I discovered that our favorite Christmas song is the same one... Neat-O!
We made this discovery after her modern dance class, where they were preparing a dance to the song. I can't wait to see that!
I think we will all enjoy the music more-- having not OD'd on it in November. Any song gets old after so and so many repeats.
In November L, had this bit of advice for the Xmas music pimp in town.
She drew this the first week of December. For the record, I did not provide any enticement. She formed this opinion on her own.
I think it is fair to say, now on December 12, we are ready for Holiday tunes!
Footloose "Fake I.D." Music Video Official [HD] - Big & Rich ft. Gretchen Wilson
So both of these songs are new to me! Natalie I am very familiar with, just not this song. I am going to go out on a limb, because I do live under a rock, and say that some under-inspired Hollywood type is remaking Footloose. Ugh!
This election season, as annoying and divisive as it was, I do believe it raised some issues, which I think as a country, are bipartisan and need to be discussed, civilly and settled.
One is ID. In general. We as Americans like people to believe we are who we say we are because we say we are who we are. Many Europeans think we are crazy people, for not having some way to prove we are who we say we are! And before my Midwestern friends jump all over me and chant, driver's license, let us remember that not everyone drives in this country and I for one, am not convinced that the DMV, BMV or whatever you call your local license office is that high and tightwith their process.
I also think this would settle a number of issues, if implemented fairly and over a rolling period of time.This national ID would stop the crying over election fraud, medicare/Medicaid fraud and actually streamline the ID process. Everyone gets one and they get it for life. It seems updating pictures on a set interval would work too. I think it would require a study, but it might actually be cheaper, if there was one central card issuer and things like driving, social security, ect, would be add ones. (In Singapore, your national ID functions as your library card. Over kill perhaps, but it would be less to carry.)
The question however is deeper than that. It is about identity, which is different from identification. The identification is actually just a classification. AMEX for years used the slogan "membership has its privileges." Yes, yes it does. Think about it. Every club you join has some sort of identification. Maybe a membership card. Maybe a uniform, maybe both.
I am not totally convinced, that the bulk of the election fraud crowd, isn't just a tiny, tiny bit worried that perhaps there are more and more people who don't look like them, who are voting. Perhaps the make up of their communities are not a homogenous as they used to be. I would like to refer people to the latest US census. There is a mathematical proof that the US is made up of a variety of people, even in the smallest of towns.
I am the first to admit I am ambivalent about the politics of immigration reform. Why? Because we have no clue what we are doing! We do not have a system for tracking people. I mean it is really easy, if you want to invest the funds. If someone stays over their VISA and is not trapped at JFK in the sterile zone due to a delay or cancellation, you go find them ASAP. Why don't we do this? It is storm trooperish and gonzo expensive. That's why.
Also we have this anchor baby thing going on. Again, I have no real opinion on the custom of allowing citizenship to be based on being born in the US. In the 1790s, it made sense. In the 1800s it made sense. In 2012, does it still make sense?
And let's be frank. Sending the parents back and keeping the 5 year old makes no sense and frankly, sending the 5 year old packing with the parents, isn't ok either. The 5 year is an American. This is a questions with many ethical dilemmas. I think perhaps it is time to have that conversation.
Also we hear a ton about the boarders...
Remember the hikers in Iran/Iraq who wandered over the boarder. Has anyone seen the boarder we share with Canada? In the woods? I doubt we have agents paroling in South Dakota.Honestly, the southern boarder is only marginally better. Unless we are willing to build a Wall, like the one that cut through Berlin and divided Germany, a trickle of those who are coming illegally, will continue to happen. I also am not sure, how one would secure the miles and miles of coast line we have. Is someone really going to set up monitoring stations every 50 feet? Fence off all the beaches.
One way we like to monitor illegal immigration is to foist it off onto the employers. I think this is poor choice. First of all, not every business has the technology to verfy driver's licenses, ect.I had a client, whoacquired a factory, that had kept employment records on paper, like they had for 50 years. They paid to have the last 5 yrs plugged into excel. What did I find, as I tried to sort the file for 401k purposes. Yep, found about 2 dozen guys with the exact same social... um, hello. With pencil and paper record keeping (which as of 8 years ago, still happened from time to time) how are you to know. I also do not think it is business's job to be the defacto INS. It puts them in a bit of a quandary and we are back to, how do we prove who belongs and who doesn't.
Back in the 1800s-- it was a bit easier. Everyone knew everyone. Strangers were, well strange. Now NYC is like a pool of strangers. Maybe you know someone in your building. Maybe you don't. I love that about NYC. The anonymity. It is nice. Sometimes.
I think we vote the way we do, because back in the day, we voted that way because there were WAY less of us and everyone knew everyone else. (Like in Iceland. Everyone knows everyone or knows someone who does. Strangers stick out. There are roughly 300,000 residents on the entire island.) I barely know my neighbors. On purpose.
This year I voted early. No ID required. I filled out the card. The lady messed with the computer and made small talk, gave me a sticker. No ID. She did not know me from a ham sandwich. While I am not completely comfortable with this, historically it makes sense. When our voter laws were written, when the custom of voting was set in the US, we likely all voted in the local one room school house or church basement. (As an aside, voting in a church makes me very uneasy...)
Today, the make up of our country is very different. We cannot look at someone on the street and say, "She is an American and He is not." Visual ID isn't going to work. Shouldn't be allowed to work any longer. Skin color and clothing choices no longer are a mark of membership in the club.
E and I had a chat a few months ago.
Someone had told his Indian buddy, he should go back where he came from. This got E wondering, "where did we come from. Where would we go back to?"
I told him that was complex and easy. If we had to go back to where Daddy was from, it was a slam dunk. Fatherland here we come! H is 100% German.
I pose a more complicated ethic picture. On my mother's side it is Wales and England. My maternal grandmother was a Jones. Her relation-- Davy Jones, was a Squirrel Hunter. My maternal grandfather was some mix of English. It is a smidgen dubious.
On my father's side, it is even more dubious. Some mix of German, Irish, Scot-Irish, and Native American.
E commented that it would be easier to work with Daddy's heritage.
You think?
What we have is an identity crisis as a whole and an identification crisis. There aren't any easy answers to these questions. That said, the census data is clear, the face of America is changing and rapidly. The old ways are not serving their purpose and frankly some shouldn't.
Time is changing. Are we prepared to change with it is the real question.
Understand I am not a Taylor Swift fan. I don't love this song. L does not love this song, but in the last two weeks I have witnessed two events that make me think this song is very important.
The other day I was dropping something off in a local office building and out front there was a young woman, I am guessing early to mid twenties talking heatedly with a man about the same age. It appeared he stopped her as she was coming back from lunch or something. She was being polite, but firm. "No I don't want to see you again." and "Please stop coming to my office."
I made a point of stopping and observing, long enough to get some key details clear in my mind. She knew I was making a point.
Then Saturday night after L's dance show, I was walking my sleepy Diva to the car and one of the older girls was in the parking lot, walking to her car and a young man, with a dozen pink roses. She kept telling him to "please just leave her alone."
He kept insisting he was "sorry" and "please just take my flowers."
I was just about to suggest he move it along, when one of the fathers in the parking lot, walked over, walked him away from the girl. The father was saying, "son, she said no."
This is a sobering book. He talks about heeding that little voice that tells something is wrong. He also talks about at great length, how women are 97% more likely to be assaulted on any given day and by "someone just trying to be nice." Only they aren't. They are profiling a potential victim. They are a boyfriend who just won't accept "we are never ever going to get back together."
They are the guy with flowers, who knows if you will take his flowers to shut him up and not make a scene in a parking lot, that maybe just maybe you will go out with him again, if he stalks you in a very public place and asks for a date in a few days.
During this very awful and overly drawn out Presidential campaign and highly contested Congressional campaigns, rape has, in my opinion been made light of by some under enlightened assholes. White men, who have never been in the position of having their consent violated, a foreign body shoved inside them. Held down, choked or otherwise threatened. They have never had their decision to stop at the grocery after a evening yoga class, judged as fool hardy or a sign they "were asking for it." All I can say to the Paul Ryans and Todd Akins and Robert Murdocks of the world is Karma is a bitch and I hope you are ready, because some day she will get her do.
I digress.
Sexual assault by a stranger is a legitimate concern, but the reality is more women, will be assaulted by some one they know or have been friendly to intimate with previously.
Approximately 2/3 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim.1 73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger.1 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.1 28% are an intimate.1 7% are a relative.1
In less than 10 days, I witnessed two such examples, women being pursed by someone whom they had a relationship and ended it, and each time, these men were not hearing the word "NO!"
I can remember in high school, college and when I was first working, being faced with the relentless pursuit of a man. As women, we are socialized to be nice. So I would always try to be polite. To be kind. To put them off. To say No, 1000 ways. To be not heard. When I finally got to No... a few times I had to yell it a few times... because they were NOT about to take no as an answer. Understand I am not talking about sex-- I am talking about invitations to date, ect. Or another date, after the first one was lousy. Or the guy who stalked me at my first job, convinced he could treat me way better than "other guy."
The cute but uninteresting guy who stood by my locker every day after math class, trying to get me to go out with him... for a year.
De Becker covers this and more in his book. Our culture rewards persistence. The Little Engine that could. Try and try again. Bring on those pink roses, even when she is yelling "go away."
Business breeds this sensibility too. One of the last seminars I took, before leaving the bank, was "Overcoming Objections." It was basically sales techniques to turn a "NO" into a "Yes."
This is dangerous I think. When the wrong person is in the audience. I think we should as a culture, learn to respect the word "No." In all cases.
No means No.
And if you think I am being dramatic-- let's consider this sobering thought--
Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
Here's the math. According to the U.S. Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey --there is an average of 207,754 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year.
There are 525,600 minutes in a non-leap year. That makes 31,536,000
seconds/year. So, 31,536,000 divided by 207,754 comes out to 1 sexual
assault every 152 seconds, or about 1 every 2 minutes.
And those are the assaults we know about... or think we know about... given that so many people do not report being assaulted or seek medical attention, it is hard to get a handle on the actual number.
So while I know this song is annoying and people don't like it... I for one am glad it is out there. We need to be having this conversation more often. We need to push back-- so that under enlightened assholes like Ryan and Akin get tarred and feathered for suggesting that sexual assault, all sexual assault isn't valid or it is rare or whatever random rape denying shit rolls forth from their mouths. It happens-- EVERY TWO MINUTES. Sometimes at knife point and sometimes while in shock and sometimes at the hands of a man who swore up and down he loved you and would never hurt you. Until you tell him "no" and he forces you down and takes what he feels his for the taking.
I cannot stand the rape deniers. They have no place in our government. They have no place making laws. They need to be told-- HELL NO.
We need to teach our children that NO means NO.
But first we obviously need to teach politicians this lesson first.
This past week has been all DANCE all the time. Regular rehearsal Monday, extra YCO rehearsal Tuesday, L did volunteer work at school on Wednesday, Thursday was performance at the local Halloween event at the rec center, Friday was no school, but my dancer did outreach with YCO and performed at two inner city schools and a retirement community. Saturday was the show.
The girls brought down the house! So amazing. My music this week is two songs I loved, that were featured in the show. The Middle School dance company did a high energy and amazing dance to Otta Your Mind! Loved it!
There is another version of this song by Li Jon and LMFAO, but this version by Alex and Twitch is PG-13 and much closer to the song the girls danced to.
The other dance was "Left at the Alter" aka Brides of Frankenstein...
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs-- Heads Will Roll
I have always liked this song. The girls did a great job with it.
Halloween is a time I think we all confront and think about scary things. This year it is even more confrontational. Living in Ohio is tough... being a battle ground state, has meant my phone ringing off the hook. (The down side of being an independent voter.) I would like to off some heads. I did yell at some people canvasing last week. (Hello, it is the Internet stupid, if I wanna know about your slim ball candidate, I will look him up.)
If it were up to me, lots of heads would roll. Lots... I have decided the most useless, entitled people on the planet are in politics. If they really cared they would get real jobs, helping real people. Our two party system is crap, both parties know it and they work damn hard to keep everyone else out. (I mean who wouldn't want a job, where deadlock is rewarded one way or the other.)
If I were in charge, it would be off with their heads, let's dance cuz the wicked beasts dead. (the parties not the people, I am angry, not homicidal... although one more phone call might push me over the edge.)
L and I are reading the Lions of Little Rock for the 5th grade Grand Discussion, which is hosted by the school's librarian. The only rules are, you have to be in the 5th grade, you must read the book with a parent, and you and a parent must come to the discussion together.
L asked who they were and we looked them up on You Tube. L was grossly underwhelmed. "Mom, they aren't even cute, just like the Beatles weren't cute. Why are all those girls screaming like crazy."
I told her they were screaming just like girls now scream for Justin Bieber or whoever the hottie of the moment is.
She remained underwhelmed.
I can remember my mom talking about these stars. She was roughly a contemporary of the main character in this book. She remembered the "day the music died."
Buddy Holly... this isn't my favorite song nor is this a style of music that I enjoy per se
Ritchie Valens -- I remember my mom talking about how it was amazing that an Hispanic singer had made such a splash... We watched the movie LaBamba over and over when I was a teenager.
Part side show/comedy with some music. I don't get it, but then this was before on demand video and special effects. The Big Bopper... my mom would sing this one... in a word -- scary.
And the song that brought this to my attention:
Don McLean -- American Pie
So who is the heart throb of this generation? Who would the girls "miss the most?"
So this is hands down one of my favorite songs-- every... I LOVE piano music. I just do... I always have... This movie is amazing and the short story it is adapted from is amazing. The soundtrack is amazing. In my top 20 for sure.
I hinted on Twitter that I was up to something and that I was proving to myself I actually can do something I was convinced I couldn't. I have been so proud of myself. So tickled every other Monday.
Today I let two poeple I care deeply for, know what I was doing and have decided to let the cat out of the bag.
I am taking piano lessons.
Yes, I am 39 years old and I am taking piano lessons. (From an amazing teacher to boot.)
I have always wanted to play the piano. As a kid there was no money for piano lessons and we didn't have a piano.
I was asked to leave the choir by the middle choir director... actually he told me I could stay if I just didn't sing. But seriously, what is the point.
I tried my hand at the viola, but it did not excite me... nor did the cello. I was also told maybe I just didn't have it...
When H and I took dance lessons, timing and rhythm did not come naturally. I assumed this meant I was just not able to do music. I am not sure I am not tone deaf and I defiantly do not have perfect pitch. But then again, Beethoven did some of his greatest work, after becoming completely deaf.
I have always felt music was just not to be mine. I could enjoy others accomplishments, but I would never make music.
A month or so ago, I decided this was crazy. I should try. Really I should just try. I had nothing to lose other than a little bit of pride. In no other area have I let fear rule my decisions. I am fairly fearless and generally totally willing to land on my ass. I mean I tried snow boarding awhile back and didn't die.
Well after a few lessons, I am playing, slowly and just baby steps, but today after my lesson, I felt so excited. I am doing it. It is work, I practice, I need to practice more, but I am doing it. I am learning to read music and I am learning to make my fingers do what they need to do.
Honestly, if I had to stop today, that would be enough. I have proven, I can do it. I am not music stupid. I am not unable.
That is huge.
And I don't have to stop today and maybe, if I work hard enough and long enough, one day I will play this song. I will be able to play one of my favorite songs.
The Beer Barrel Polka... a variety of renditions...
So a little known fact, H and I can polka and pretty well actually. We took the kids to the Oktoberfest this weekend. I have to say the Oktoberfest here is as about as authentic as the Irish Fest. It is an American version of why a Oktoberfest might actually be.
And that isn't all that fair. H and I have been to some festivals in Germany and they are similar to ours-- food, beer, wine, and fun. I do recall the food being better...
When L was young and we went to Germany, before this blog existed and before E was on the scene, we went to a Spring Festival. There was music and dancing, kids activities and plenty of drinks. Drinks served in real glasses.
Germans have a tradition of beer halls, beer gardens and Stammtisches. Time to gather and drink and socialize.
I have to say the bands at the Oktoberfest were very good and the kids danced and H and I did too...
The children are over half German. H is 100% and I have a quarter or so in me. It is their heritage, even if we do no belong to a German-American society like H's parents did. We don't use real candles on the Christmas tree and while I make a mean schnitzel, I can't make a strudel to save my life.
I remember when all things German were treated with suspicion. When I was a child there were whispers of Nazis and Walls and responsibility. East Germany was a scary place. (And honestly, it was... and I have some toilet paper from East Germany, from my time studying aboard and that stuff was like sandpaper...)
I remember one of my first non-academic run ins with East Berlin and the realities of a totalitarian regime was the movie Gotcha. We would get it from the library. I know I watched it more than once before my trip and after.
So while we polkaed away and the kids ate American food and wrinkled their noises at H's goulash, I wondered, what will they remember of their Oma and her country? Is that the reality of the melting pot, does it all fade away to a facsimile of what is real?
I hinted on Twitter I was making something very special. I meant to have a post up and ready to go for Saturday, but I was too busy having a great time in Brooklyn, NY. I was too busy making friends, celebrating with friends and basking in the affirmation of that great love, the desire to build a family is not exclusive to a select group of people. New York wisely and correctly recognizes the rights of all citizens to declare their intentions to each other. (Can I have a hell yeah?)
Marriage means so many things. Many people enter into marriage as an extension of their religious beliefs. Other do it, in order for the state to legitimize their relationship. Marriage in modern American culture and civics affords couples certain legal rights, prescribe the passage of real property, children, hospital visitation and taxation. Even medical insurance is offered to married couples differently than cohabiting couples.
In many cultures, when a couple marries, either the man or woman, leave his or her family of origin and join the household of the other. We see this still strongly upheld in Indian, Asian and Middle Eastern families. In many cases, the new couple reside with the parents or in some cases the parents move in with the new couple.
Modern marriages may be a mix of all of these practices. Take H and I, we had a very traditional Catholic wedding, but had privately made our own very personal and private agreements. We had no control over our vows, they were totally prescribed by the church as was the music and flow of the service. (While I had very good reasons for following that path then, I wouldn't do it that way today... I would today hold out to do it our way!)
H and I have, as a married couple, revisited and adjusted our agreements as we as individuals and a couple grown.
Marriage is a journey. It is a building of a family of choice. It is creating and bonding and making something bigger than the individuals coming together. In many cases this describes any relationship. Marriage is special, because as a culture we have woven it together with so much. Our culture has developed around the idea of couples as a key building block of families and communities.
To deny the right to marry, to all Americans, is to say that some couples/people, their building blocks are inferior. I reject that. When individuals come together, state an intention to build something, which is bigger than themselves, to take on the name family, to form a unit, which is stable, affirming, loving and a credit to their community(-ies,) then that is a marriage.
No two marriages look the same. How could they be. We are individuals first. No joining of individuals will every produce the same result. That is what makes the process so empowering, fulfilling and joyful.
I promise to unveil what I made, but today, today I raise my glass once again to J and S. Two of the most loving, generous, and fiercely fantastic ladies I know. It is not just the fiercely loving gazes they shared under the Chuppah but the gathering of people, who stood by them, who celebrated with them and who came together to say, we support your love, we have always supported who you are as individuals and who you are together, because together you are a power forged in love, acceptance and understanding.
So today I leave you with two of the first songs played at the reception... which I think define who J and S are in their love... and who we, the gathered friends and family are to them, love. In all its forms and in all its facets. Love is a power, which will not be denied. No matter how hard some people fight to deny it-- love will conquer...Love will never be denied. The joining of those in love-- it is a human right, which cannot be denied in a democracy which prizes individuals and liberty.
Edward Sharpe-- Home.
This made me cry, listening to the lyrics, I thought-- yes... home. Home is where love grows. Homes are so different. What is inside and outside... just like a marriage... each one is different...
This is Pink's Song Raise Your Glass-- but this video is awesome, so I am featuring the cover. We were loud on Saturday night. Loud in our celebration and loud in our love. Not everyone lives in a State where they can choose marriage. We loudly rejected that, we spoke out against it. We committed to continue to speak out against it. I will continue to speak out against it. No one at the wedding of S and J can deny that the service was about their love for each other, their love for their friends, the love we felt for them. It was friends and family and the room wept with love.
No one should be denied that, ever...
So today-- S and J! I raise my glass again, to you, to your love and the celebration of love.
I am also committed to keep raising my voice... I will not stop-- until all celebrations of love are recognized in this country!
I found this on Twitter, after Congressman Akin's fantastic example of why politicians should not be involved with women's health-- at all. I think contraception and abortion should be issues that doctors and women deal with. Medical ethicist should be the ones who set medical policy, using REAL science and ethics, not religion.
I also think that as long as employers ask employees to share in the cost of health insurance premiums, they should not be allowed to disallow procedures or coverage along gender lines. If prostrate exams are covered, so must be pap smears and mammograms. If you cover pregnancy, then you must cover contraception (not everyone wants to be pregnant.) If you have a religious objection-- too bad, unless you want to foot the entire bill. An employers religious choices should not trump the employee's religious/ethical opinions/thoughts-- unless the employer wants to foot the ENTIRE BILL (I call this putting YOUR money where your VALUES are.) Cost sharing means belief compromise.
At the moment employees are all at the mercy of their employers for insurance and that is wrong... there is no real choice-- they throw out a plan and we pay for it... That is not a free market. Employers should not hold all the power. They just shouldn't. Unless they want to foot the entire bill.
Furthermore, I say unless you actually have a vagina-- your opinion as to how one cares for the vagina (or the womb for that matter) is really not at all germane to the conversation. I would not dream of weighing in on the care and treatment of a penis or prostrate... I don't have one and therefore I have zero frame of reference... Just as I will never experience a "hard on" or an inconvenient erection during a meeting, or erectile dysfunction... men will never enjoy the joys of a monthly period, the struggle with the side effects of oral contraceptive or monthly depression around a monthly period, which is only alleviated with the oral contraceptive, or a difficult pregnancy. Men will never experience first hand the crush of a miscarriage or the horror of becoming pregnant from rape or incest.
Men can waltz into any drug store or gas station and purchase inexpensive condoms. No doctor visit, no copays, no nothing. Women on the other hand have a variety of options open to them some of which are better than condoms, but they are costly and invasive. If men want more control over the birth control process-- how about they ask for and fund research to find more RX options for themselves? Instead of seeking to control the birth control options for women, why not seek out options for men, that won't end the journey of a fertilized egg-- but instead prevent fertilization AT ALL... Temporary prevention of sperm production would solve a multitude of problems and put birth control control squarely in a man's control. Men would then be empowered to control their OWN bodies. If I were a man, I would not spend my time trying to control women and their bodies-- but be seeking a way to better control my own.
Given that no one is focused on that-- makes me believe this debate is truly about the social control of women and sexuality... not about the mutually assured access to healthcare options and family planning. I think most men, do care about their female partners and want what is best for their future. I would humbly submit those men want birth control covered for their spouse/partners/lovers. Those men are not the ones spouting weird science and wanting to ban all access. Those men aren't crazy.
I know-- I have been MIA. We left for vaca E having been sick and on an antibiotic, which I traveled with and the TSA ignored. L and I were sick, but not sick enough not to travel. We had a relaxed vacation and came home feeling better, only to be home a day and feel horrible again. L ended up with an ear infection/sinus infection and I ended up with a sinus infections.
School started and I spent the first two days of back to school semi-comatose on the sofa. Thank goodness H was home or I am not convinced the kids would have made it to school on time either day.
As we entered Labor Day weekend, I was worn out after a very busy end of the week. I am a sleepyhead. I always feel chronically short on sleep. I could really use between 8-10 hours a sleep a day. Not that I ever really get that. I always tell myself I am going to take a nap, but that never really happens either. I always feel like the time I could spend napping would be better used cleaning or cooking or somehow doing something while the kids are away.
I got a great night sleep on Saturday night, but that in no way made up for the collective short fall of the week or for the huge amount of activity on Saturday and Sunday.
I think I am just one of those people who requires a lot of sleep. I also think my pernicious anemia has a good bit to do with it as well. I am more tired about the time I need another B12 injection.
On a related note I know Passion Pit is coming to town. I think I would enjoy that show, but I swear waiting to take the stage until 9 pm or later is almost too late for me. I am such a sleepyhead, especially on a school night.
I do not really like the Beach Boys, but my mother did. In the next ten days I am going be very busy. A trip with the kids to visit my sister in FLA, while H stays home. Then a weekend away for some last of summer R & R. Then school starts. Whew a whirlwind!
What I want to know is why are their pants so tight? And seriously, how much did they pay those girls to scream like that... so weird.
Those shirts are scary in black and white...
Now I have to say-- the Black Keys, those guys I like... perhaps it is generational. I seriously doubt my mother would like the Black Keys... in any event as I write this the night before I leave town, after battling through a week full of ear infections (E), fever, headache and chills (L & I), and general mayhem-- I am very much looking forward to seeing my sister, relaxing on the beach and getting some real time with her. It has been too long! I need ocean, sand, sun, and my sister!
And to be fair-- these guys aren't wining any groovy dresser awards either...
I loved the Spice Girls. A celebration of Girls and their various passions. (The overall closing ceremonies were crazy-- in a fun but bizarre way. It was very youthful.)
It was fun to see them back together for the Olympics. I have enjoyed the games. I think London did a great job.
I think sport reminds us that each of us can accomplish something amazing, if we practice and live our passions. I think it is amazing too, that sport can unite us in our humanity, in our desire for sportsmanship and spirited competition. I think the Olympics show us that more unites us than divides us.
Today is L's 10th birthday. She is a decade old. I will never forget the Tuesday she came into our lives. She came into this world on her terms... the only way she knows how to do anything-- her way.
I was overdue, it had been a long hot summer.
My water broke at 5 am and naturally I cleaned up the mess, made myself breakfast, changed clothes, rechecked my hospital bag for the 50th time and then, when it was really later than it should it have been, we went to hospital.
So much has happened in the last decade. We moved to the house we are in now, shortly after she was born. Her Omi died in 2006, when she was 4. My mother died, her Grammie died in 2011, when she was 9. My Dad and stepmother divorced a few years ago, as have some of good family friends.
She has experienced the big D's-- divorce and death in her first decade. She takes it in stride.
My baby is fierce. She is tenacious. She takes on a challenge and beats the hell out of it. She has struggled with reading--> but no one tried harder to get better and read more challenging books than L. She reads to whoever will listen, the rabbit, the cat, the gerbils, the wall, me.
My baby has passion.
She wasn't always the most graceful girl or the most talented in her dance classes and gymnastic classes, but I will tell you what, she sometimes was the one working the hardest. She is an amazing dancer and she has achieved her goal, to be in the gym class she is today. It has meant extra practice, private lessons, home work and determination. All of that said-- she is there, per-placement gym and exhibition before middle school.
Lately her passion is cupcakes and Cupcake Wars. Seriously, she is a tome of cupcake trivia.
L has wrought great change in my life. When I had her I was at a crossroads, a professional one, a personal one and an emotional one. I think had I not let H talk me into having a baby, I would not be where I am today... L has always inspired me, challenged me and shown me that being the best of who you are born be depends directly on your willingness to live the life you were born to live.
So as I tell her every night, you know I love you and no one loves you more.
Happy 10th Birthday L... You light up my life and there is NOTHING you can't conquer. You have already proven that...
This last week has been busy and meaningful, full of love. I celebrated my birthday in style with my loves and I most especially took some time out for me. I have been needing quiet time for me.
We are now turning the corner into the last weeks of summer vacation. E heads to camp in a week, L is preparing to celebrate her birthday and my little people and I are taking a short trip to the beach to visit my sister right before school starts.
As I thought about what to write about today, I pondered the past week and the next few weeks and I had a lazy summer vibe wash over me.
I will be the first to admit, pop music is not my favorite genre. That said with a soon to be tween dance obsessed daughter, pop music is being played in the car with more frequency. While she still likes alternative and tolerates her dad's techno/house obsession, she is listening to what her friends are listening too more often. She has Pandora on her iPod and knows how to use it, better than I do.
When we saw the trailer for the Katy Perry movie, I told the kids we could go. Surprisingly, I liked it. I like Katy's message to girls-- embrace who you are. So what if you are "weird." There is so much pressure on kids and specifically girls to fit molds and there are so many. (as a side note, E now wants me to take him to Japan for our next trip so we too can go to the tea house, where there are cats...)
I love that Katy creates a world where girls can be girls. Katy isn't a bean pole and she embraces that-- and she embraces the need to work out to keep up with her shows. She loves dress up and her tour was like a candy land surprise.
I also appreciate that Katy sings about being a girl, being sexy and being an owner of her sexuality. Sending girls the message that they need to be "sexy" but cannot own their sexuality is dangerous. Our culture's treatment of female sexual desire is beyond screwed up. Women should be desirable, but should not desire. (and trust me-- ET is all about sexual desire... something men sing about all the time. And for me, it speaks to the magic that can be found with in-- for some sexuality and embracing your own innate sexuality leads you to the divinity within all of us.) I also think this is at the root of birth control and sex ed debate-- it certainly is the root of female circumcision in the Middle East and Africa. If the larger patriarchal culture can control and CONTAIN female sexual desire and to drill down-- if men can control women's sexual desire and their expression of their sexuality-- then they can control women. When women are viewed as and used to satisfy men's sexual desires and denied their own, one has absolute control. Better yet? Get other women to agree with you... and then bingo-- you are on easy street. Religion does this very well. Our culture still tries to do this with varied results.
I remember very clearly in college. I loved Madonna. I still do. She is one of the first artists to do it her way. She pushed the envelope. She was taking it on her terms. I also remember being told by my "feminist" friends that I shouldn't like Madonna. Bullshit. Women do not have to deny their sexuality to be a good ________. (you pick a word.) Why is it we have to deny our sexuality at all. Sex is a healthy part of life. Awareness of sexuality naturally starts very young and progresses as development progress. Why do we think we should shelter and contain our kids from something that is natural and normal and healthy...
I think it is important to be age appropriate, but at a certain point, the kids need to be allowed to ask questions and figure it out... in my view 18 is a bit late for that to happen.
I respect Katy, she walked away from a path which would have very much pleased her parents and meant living in denial of who she knew she was. I talked to L about this the other night. Her parents brought her up in a bubble... I think that is dangerous and it happens all the time. I have taken a different path with my kids. Katy gambled and was willing to accept the fact that being herself might mean losing her parents. She choose herself and I think that makes her a great role model. Being true to yourself is amazingly difficult sometimes.
We need to stop stuffing conformity down our kids throats and let them find themselves-- within themselves. I appreciate Katy's message to girls-- be yourself, embrace "your weirdness" because it is yours!
Hot n Cold
Firework-- for L and my BFF-- both of whom are awesome!
And ET... my favorite I think... altho I like very much...
