Things are changing all around me...

Well not exactly. I am changing them.

In the coming weeks I will be migrating this blog, to my own website. I bought the domain -- susansthoughtsfromtheedge.com. I am going to build my own website using WordPress. Changes are also coming to my business, which after a hiatus, is reemerging, slightly new and different focus.

This January I took Allison Lehman's WordPress class and I finally feel empowered and competent enough to build my own space. That is coming in March. I will likely shift my blogging focus a bit and my plan is to try and refocus my writing.

This blog is not going away. I will leave it up. Instead of trying to import nearly 7 years worth of posts into the new space, I will link to this blog, so that people can look back if they want to. Some of the really good posts, I will likely repost and many of my DIY projects may make a reappearance.

Why am I changing? Well, blogger has made some updates and honestly, for new bloggers or those who want to blog and go, I can 100% say Blogger's platform is the way to go. It is easy. This is why I have stayed here for 7 years. This last upgrade, in my opinion was actually a slight step backwards. My skills and blog aesthetic have outgrown Blogger and frankly all the cool kids are talking WordPress.

WordPress is really flexible and it has some neat bells and whistles. I have used the back end of WordPress for years-- carefully posting content for clients and hoping like hell, I didn't accidentally blow anything up. Well now, I am going to try building my own place, from the ground up.

My goal is to have this all finished by the end of the first quarter 2013. So hang tight... change is coming and soon.

Happy 2013

My New Year starts tomorrow. The kiddos go back to school. I hope to get things kicked into high gear. It really is impossible to really focus on my projects, while focusing on keeping them entertained.

There are going to be some changes. This blog, will likely be one of those changes. I love writing here, but I need some focus and I want to make some changes. It is time.

2013 is symbolic of many changes. It has been a full year and a few months, that I have allowed myself to mourn. Really mourn and to wallow, yes wallow. I cloaked myself in the sadness and the thoughtfulness. And the anger and the disbelief and now, I have come through that. I am ready to start new.

In death there is change and in change there is the chance for greater change and even rebirth or reinvention.

2013 will be full of change.

Be ready.

For now, I will continue to post as I feel the urge. Much of the first part of 2013, will be about me deciding what I want to tackle. Where to focus.

Holiday Shopping -- Something Different

Sometimes buying local and shipping isn't exactly the easiest or you are shopping for someone and struggling to find, just the thing. I am not one of those people, who think online shopping is evil, far from it. I do try to cultivate my own list of go-to online haunts.

I also like the idea of giving a gift that lasts or continues well past the birthday or the holiday and frankly-- who wants weird fruits every month? So this list might be just what you need to give a gift that continues past the holiday and does not contain any under ripe pears.

Today I will share a few with you!

Birchbox

I LOVE BIRCHBOX. I became aware of this wonderful service via Twitter. I was skeptical. I am *not* a makeup person. I loathe shopping for make up and lotions and potions. The reality was I needed to be shopping for them and wasn't. Boom-- Birchbox was the answer. You sign up, answer questions about your hair, nails, make up and style and then monthly they mail you a cute box, with 4-5 samples of make up, perfume, lotion and skin care items. Very nice. It is a great little pampering party in a box.  Have I loved everything? No. Have I found some amazing products that I never would have discovered on my own, you betcha. Totally worth the $10 or so a month in my opinion. You can give a gift subscription and then not only will the special someone get great stuff in the mail, they will remember who was so thoughtful to send them something so cool every month too!

I will also say this. Birchbox offers amazing customer service. They are responsive, via email and Twitter. They are kind and gracious and they want you to be happy.

You can also earn points for reviewing the products each month and every 100 points is equal to $10 in store credit. Pretty cool.

Umba Box

I discovered Umba Box by accident while checking Facebook on H's computer (why he does not have Ad Blocker Plus is beyond me.) Umba Box is a selection of curated Etsy type items. I started subscribing thinking I would only try it for a few months. Well, I have stuck by them. I have gotten an eclectic mix of items over the last few months. All very good quality, creative and different. While I am not a HUGE fan of the screen printed tea towels, I have loved the hand made cosmetics and lovely stationary. I have given a few of my Umba Box items as gifts and the recipients have loved them.

Umba Box's website is not without its own issues, but it has improved steadily and their customer service is AMAZING! I have called them and recently chatted (via on site IM) with them and they are a classy operation also.

I think this box is great for people who enjoy supporting artists and crafts people. I plan to keep subscribing.

FAB

Again, a wonderful Twitter referral. I love the FAB app. I am less in love with their website. I love their product mix. I love that they do no spam my Inbox. I love that they appreciate their customers (hello, little $25 gift card just because and cute little poster that came in the mail.) Shipping time has improved steadily and they have a new free shipping option, which is fantastic!

Everything I have ordered from FAB, has been, well FAB!

FAB is a great place to shop for that something different or interesting.


Brooklyn Industries

"Wow, that blouse is too cute."

"I love that purse."

"That jacket is really cool."

Yep, this is what happens when I am wearing something I have acquired from Brooklyn Industries. I have to credit SS and JC for turning me onto Brooklyn Industries a few years ago. There has been no going back. A decent number of items in my closet come from Brooklyn Industries and I don't live in NYC.

I will say, one has to be objective and honest about their body shape. Know what styles flatter and follow the size chart. The return policy is fair, but read and understand it before you shop. Shipping seems reasonable.

Purses and tote bags ALWAYS fit!

I hesitate to give away one of my favorite boutiques, BUT it really is an awesome little shop. Also, their sales cannot be beat! If you really love something, order it, but watching something sometimes pays off.

Fair warning-- some of the merchants mentioned will give me credit if you click the link and sign up. No, I am not going to tell you which ones. I will thank you for the credit, but that is NOT the point of this post. I am just sharing some of the places I love to shop online. I have been fair and objective in my description and their shortcomings. If I get credit, and it because you wanted to give something a try, on m recommendation, thank you in advance.

Happy Shopping!

A season of giving-- a food donation notation

It is no secret. I dislike the Christmas season. The commercialism, the non-stop bad music that takes over Muzak everywhere. The crowds, the gimmes, the fights over discounted televisions.

Bah. Bah. Bah.

That said, there are a lot of very charitably minded people and alot of good is done during this season. So I will try to remain positive. I will not shop on Black Friday or Cyber Monday. I will aim to shop local or artisan made, when I can.

I am also going to try and highlight some nice holiday options, on Fridays. These are businesses or organizations that I like. No one is giving me anything to do this (I mean they could and I would totally toot my own horn if they did but I am not being compensated as I type this post. I am however sitting in the dark, wondering why I choose not to put on socks. A different matter entirely.)

This week I will also refer to my entry a few years ago. As we enter the season of food drives, please, please think about people in need who have issues like I do. Gluten Intolerance and food allergies, are not just issues of wealthy and middle class families. While the Kroger brand of mac and cheese is great and on sale this week, many families cannot eat it for a variety of reasons. So think about more whole food choices, with no processed sauces or additives. I say look for 5 ingredient or less foods.

This could include:

shelf stable soy milk or nut milks
apple sauce -- with no added sugar
peanut butter or soy butter or sun butter
plain instant oatmeal (not gluten free, but great for people with other allergies)
plain instant rice ceral
gluten free flour blend
trail mix
dried fruit such as raisins and cranberries
banana chips
plain rice -- instant or slow cook
cooking oil
dried beans, lentils, peas
canned fruit, with no added sugar
powdered milk
instant coffee
canned milk
canned beans -- but read the labels, just beans, no funny stuff
gluten free crackers/rice crackers
all fruit jams/preserves
gluten free cereals/granola
gluten free breakfast bars/granola type bars



Call ahead, will the pantry take winter squash, potatoes, apples? Gift cards? Many pantries meet their clients needs this way.

I cannot imagine trying to meet my dietary needs, with a very limited income. Can you imagine if you were a family on the edge and a child or adult in the family was struggling with uncontrolled IBS/Celiacs or other issues due to an inability to find wholesome, whole food choices.

The reality is all the items on my list are generally healthier options for everyone. We all benefit from less processing and less sugar and less junk in our food. So while you are giving someone with allergies or intolerance some options, you are also giving everyone something very healthy.

It is a win-win.

Up high like a kite...

H randomly had a Friday off and the weather was amazing. Since the weather was nice, we decided to pick the kids up from school and go to dinner. In a small plane.

Also amazingly, H flies a 75-99 seat aircraft, a jet,  regularly, but he has to be checked out and have so many hours in a small plane, to fly his family around. So he has been doing that. He rejoined the club he used to teach at and has been practicing with a Diamond. After getting signed off, we needed a nice day and an open evening.

 It seems so little and guess what-- it totally is...

 Trust me, you have to like the people you are flying with.

 We flew to Urbana, Grimes Field. It is a short hop and they have a great little greasy spoon at the airport. Back in the day, when H was training, this was a regular outing for us. Fly somewhere, eat, fly home, log hours. It used to be that many air fields in the area, had decent little lunch and breakfast places. Sadly, as gas prices have increased, pilots have hung up their headsets and the little restaurants have all but disappeared.

Our approach into the unmanned airfield always makes me hold my breath. There is no one organizing the traffic and it is the pilot honor system. (No kidding.)

We ate and had to be quick about it, because even though H can land that big jet at night, in the rain and blah, blah, blah, he was not current to land the little Diamond at night, so we have to get back to Columbus before dusk. (Wanna hear something really funny. Ask H how the FAA defines dusk. I dare you.)

 This is a large quarry near Plain City apparently.

 Chasing the setting sun...

Tuttle Mall area on Friday night.

 Lining up with lights and runway seem so easy when H does it. I know it isn't and he used to sweat it more than he does now. He made it seem as simple as driving a car. Behind the controls H is cool as a cucumber.

This was a great shot. We glided down like a feather. And we clapped after we got on the ground and might I just add that he cranked that little plane right around and onto the taxi way, when ground control said he could exit the runway at his discretion.

The kids had a blast.  (And seriously, they have great greasy spoon food and pie. The pie is the highlight, I am told.)

It was an awesome evening. One of my favorite things in the world is being in a small plane with H. It is awesome to see him doing something that he loves so much!

Let's fly through trees-- together!

 One of the perks of H's job, is he is off and home during the week. With the kids in school, this means we can have high quality dates during the week, presuming we can find something going on and the weather permits. (There just aren't many concerts at 10 am on Wednesdays, who knew?)

When I saw the Groupon for ZipZone at Camp Mary Orton, I jumped on it. The funny thing was finding a time in October that we could go was harder than I thought. We thought we would miss the peak color, but it turns out that Friday, October 19 was almost the perfect day! It was cool, but not cold. Overcast, but beautiful color.

I did not shoot any video, but ZipZone has this lovely video on their website! (just imagine that lush canopy in a riot of red, orange and yellow. Yeah... breathtaking!)

 Our guides, Jane and Eric, were in a word-- awesome. Fun. I also felt super safe. The braking mechanism made it worry free, you fly and they make sure you don't hit a tree. Isn't H the cutest in that helmet! (The harness is fashion worthy also.)

 You can zip hands free or use the handle. The handle can steer you. (well if you are pilot like H and get the rudder like effect. I just fly and drifted around...)

 One of the best parts of this canopy tour is the length of the runs. Two of them are rather long and I loved that. I even took the one backwards, which was exciting. (I only went backwards because the 6th grade girls did it and I mean really... their bravery was contagious.)

 I love that they kept many of the details, which speak to the history of Camp Mary Orton. It has a nice feel.

 As H says about flying, take off is optional, but landing is mandatory. The last run takes you out of the trees and back to the ground. It honestly is the toughest run of all. (Honestly, the only time I felt queasy, was on the bridges. Not a fan of those shaky bridges.)

 I think it helps to visualize the runway, don't you?

Honestly, I had a great time. I plan to go back. L wants to go. It was a great way to spend a morning and then go warm up with Indian Food!

They will be having limited zipping this winter, so check their website. I think a winter, slightly snowy zip might be fun. Plus think of all the cool winter-scape things you could see. They also plan a full moon zip from time to time! Talk about cool.

I give an A+ to the operation and a double thumbs up to Eric and Jane!

Music Monday: The Piano

So this is hands down one of my favorite songs-- every... I LOVE piano music. I just do... I always have... This movie is amazing and the short story it is adapted from is amazing. The soundtrack is amazing. In my top 20 for sure.

I hinted on Twitter that I was up to something and that I was proving to myself I actually can do something I was convinced I couldn't. I have been so proud of myself. So tickled every other Monday.

Today I let two poeple I care deeply for, know what I was doing and have decided to let the cat out of the bag.

I am taking piano lessons.

Yes, I am 39 years old and I am taking piano lessons. (From an amazing teacher to boot.)

I have always wanted to play the piano. As a kid there was no money for piano lessons and we didn't have a piano.

I was asked to leave the choir by the middle choir director... actually he told me I could stay if I just didn't sing. But seriously, what is the point.

I tried my hand at the viola, but it did not excite me... nor did the cello. I was also told maybe I just didn't have it...

When H and I took dance lessons, timing and rhythm did not come naturally. I assumed this meant I was just not able to do music. I am not sure I am not tone deaf and I defiantly do not have perfect pitch. But then again, Beethoven did some of his greatest work, after becoming completely deaf.

I have always felt music was just not to be mine. I could enjoy others accomplishments, but I would never make music.

A month or so ago, I decided this was crazy. I should try. Really I should just try. I had nothing to lose other than a little bit of pride. In no other area have I let fear rule my decisions. I am fairly fearless and generally totally willing to land on my ass. I mean I tried snow boarding awhile back and didn't die.

Well after a few lessons, I am playing, slowly and just baby steps, but today after my lesson, I felt so excited. I am doing it. It is work, I practice, I need to practice more, but I am doing it. I am learning to read music and I am learning to make my fingers do what they need to do.

Honestly, if I had to stop today, that would be enough. I have proven, I can do it. I am not music stupid. I am not unable.

That is huge.

And I don't have to stop today and maybe, if I work hard enough and long enough, one day I will play this song. I will be able to play one of my favorite songs.

How totally cool is that???

A week later...

So it is a week later, a week since I went to the periodontist and let her turn my gums into something that looks like Frankenstein's monster.

Did you miss that post?

I am happy to report that I well on the way to feeling and looking better. The lower front looks way better, the roof of my mouth is less tender and the lower right molar is looking better, I am still not sure but today it looks way better and the swelling is way down.

I will admit, this was tough. It was tough, toughing out the pain over the weekend with just prescription strength Motrin. I couldn't take the other pain meds, as they make me loopy, and I had two kids to take care of.

I grossly underestimated how very painful this was going to be and just how long it would have me down.

I am still eating soft foods. Yesterday I ate solid soft foods, so some dal, some saag, and some fantastic stuffed peppers. (mind you I stuffed them goat cheese-- so no chewing.)

Until yesterday I was pretty sure I would never chew again.

I see the doctor next Tuesday morning.

I really hope this worked, because honestly, I don't think I could go through this again.

Music Monday: REM-- Everybody Hurts

So-- it has been a day. L and I did back to school shopping and birthday shopping. I did laundry, we were up early to get E to camp and then pick him up and then back to shopping to get his back to school shoes.

As I type this I am icing my jaw. Ouch.

All I can say is this has been significantly more painful than I had bargained for.

I stopped the big guns pain killer, as I am home alone with the kiddos. Tonight I am having another one. H is coming home.

It hurts.

Tonight it throbs.

DIY: Dip dyed party dress

I tweeted at the time, if this works out I am taking all the credit and if it was a bomb, I was going to blame Pinterest.

I am pleased to say it turned out beautifully.

Finished dress

So here is the process.

Find a dress. I found this fun strapless number on the clearance rack at Old Navy. It was off white with white stitching. I loved the style of the dress and the stitching work. I also loved the price. It was marked down to $11. Not a huge loss if I ruined it in the dying process. I had tried to find something a a few local thrift stores, but I had very limited success.

Plain off-white cotton dress

Close up of the beautiful stitching.

I prefer to work with Rit dyes and in liquid form. The powdered ones are ok, but I get the best results with the liquid ones. I settled on Petal Pink.

I used alittle over half a bottle of dye and 1 c. of kosher salt.

Then I did some prep work. I measured the dress and decided how I wanted to layer the color. Then I used our drying rack and pants hanger and played with placement of the dye bath and the dress. This took a bit of time, but it was worth it in the end.

And yes, I am fancy. I use a trash can for my dye bath.

See the ring from the last time I dyed jeans?

So I created the bath, positioned the dress roughly 2/3 of the way into the dye bath and let it sit for 3 hours. Then repositioned the dress, so only a 1/3 remained in the dye bath and let is go for another three hours.

I removed the dress, let it dry for a few hours and then washed the dress in cool water. The remainder of they dye delicately tinted the top 1/3 of the dress, just as I had hoped it would.

I am left with a pretty three-toned pink frock, which I have worn a few times already and everyone seems to really like it. I have paired it with a pink necklace. Mom is probably rolling her eyes-- pink is not generally my go to color, but in this case I think it makes the dress just perfect. (Mom was a huge fan of pink.)

On a side note, I wasn't sure what would happen to the stitching. On the off-white dress, the stitching is almost lost, as it is white-on-white. After my efforts-- the beautiful stitch work really pops. I think that may be my favorite part of the dress now.

This is a totally easy fix for a tired old dress or a ho-hum frock on the clearance rack!

Total cost-- maybe $15 and about 6-7 hours of time. (well an hour of active time and about 6 hours of the dress hanging out in the dye.) When I wore this dress to dinner for my birthday-- I felt like a million bucks.

In a word-- Ouch!

So I purposefully did not tell very many people about my trip to periodontist. Why? Cuz I really didn't want to know about anyone's experience or their sister's cousin's husband's horror story.

The fact is I had some moderate to severe receding of the gums, lower front and around the very far right molar. I have known this for a few years. Actually we have been watching it for 10 years now. In the last three, watching it get alot worse. Last year, I should have done something about it, but mom was very ill and dying and I just couldn't go there.

This spring, I had two consultations, picked the doctor I liked best and then had to figure out a week, where H was home to take me and I could have a peaceful weekend to rest up.

On purpose I did zero research and listened/read zero first hand stories. Both doctors were very clear about what they intended to do, the best course of action and I just did not want to hear anyone's horror stories. I also did not try and check it out on You Tube. My dentist had been clear in his referrals and was very candid about what he thought would need to be done. Both periodontists gave me written information. I made an informed decision, but skipped the possibly inflammatory stories.

Beside the gum grafting procedure, I had a frenectomy on the lower lip as well. My doctor felt that the lower frenulm was causing some of the gum pull, which speeds the erosion.

I elected to have these procedures with just the local. I do not react well to the drugs used to knock you out and having never tried the gas, I wasn't sure how that would go either. I have no allergy to Novocaine, so that is what we went with. Boy howdy did I get the mother load of Novocaine! I lost track how much she was injecting me with.

I won't lie, being awake and watching her sew gum tissue together in the reflection of her glasses was not fun. I closed my eyes. Twice my mouth started to "wake up" and I was not a hero, I went for more Novocaine. I think there was an impressive amount of blood involved too.

It really wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible either. It took about an hour.

One of the amazing things and something that put me at ease going into the procedure was that she called in a RX ahead of time for me to pick up. H and the kids went to lunch and to play in the park while I was under the knife and came back when I was done. We came straight home and I took my painkillers and antibiotic. No waiting at the pharmacy. I loved that she was proactive and so focused on my convenience and comfort.

I will say I wasn't lying when I posted this to my facebook page about 25 minutes after getting home--->

• • I never thought I would say this-- but I have discovered something that hurts worse than natural childbirth! Way worse. Way,way,way worse...

Honestly as I was thawing out, boy howdy that hurt, throbbed. I was shocked how much it hurt. It took a little while for the pain pills to start working and ice helped, but it hurt. So much more than I had expected. This is the downside to Novocaine. It does not slowly fade, it is zero to 60. I have a high pain tolerance. I do. I birthed an 8 pound baby with no drugs. I labored with a Pit drip and birthed a 7.5 pound baby, no drugs. This dental procedure, hurt like a bitch before the pain pills kick in. It is a pain like I have never felt before.

If you are curious about the the process I found this blog post which sums it up nicely. My stars I hope she is right when she says it isn't that bad the next day. I have managed some carrot, orange ginger juice and a good sized chunky monkey shake. Sipping water also seems to soothe and keeps that dry mouth feeling at bay. I made myself some lentil soup and veggie broth and thawed some homemade apple sauce. Soft food will be the name of game for at least a week.

There is a chance the graft won't take. That is something I just don't even want to think about. I am not sure I am up for trying this again. Then again listening to her go over the dental implant information as the Novocaine took effect, let's just say that route doesn't sound any less painful.

Cross your fingers.

Music Monday: Beatles's Birthday

Today is my birthday.

Here are some stats:

• Today is my first birthday since Mom died. 
• Today is the last birthday of my 30s
• This is my last birthday while L will be in single digits. She celebrates a decade in less than 2 weeks.

Here's to having a Happy Day!

Group Insurance and "Bogus Choices"

So here is a comment I ran into a few weeks ago on NARAL OH's page:

I find it ironic how people demand freedom of choice to have sex using birth control and then get an abortion while in the same breath demanding that it be funded by others who do not hold the same values. Why is it that one group feels it can force another to violate its moral conscience. If people want to use birth control and or get an abortion why can't they pay for it on their own dime. People need to stop making other people pay for their bad choices and actions and start taking responsibility for their own actions. This ultimately is what the real issue is here, but it seems that folks who demand pro-choice don't want to hear that. Instead what they hear when subsidized funding is going to be taken is that their rights are being violated allowing them to make their own decision. But really if people want to make their own decisions then they should get to pay for them to.

This was my reply:

Actually -- when we participate in all insurance we pay for things we may or may believe in. For example, I don't for one minute think people should consume any artificial colors or favors and fake sugars or  high fructose corn syrup. I am pretty sure a huge portion of my health insurance dollars are going to cover diabetic treatments and hypertension drugs for people who have failed to look after their weight and health appropriately. But that is part of deal. Don't even get me started on people who choose to smoke, knowing the risks and then want me to cover their O2 supplies and or cancer treatments. Hello, it is scientific fact that smoking leads to lung cancer and other lung diseases. But because I understand how insurance works-- I pay my premium-- even though I really do not approve of those other people's choices.

Maybe people who don't want to pay for birth control or abortion as standards of ob/gyn care as approved by the FDA and various medical boards and medical ethics committees should, oh I don't know go find your own insurance and leave the test of us who get how group insurance works alone.

Let's indulge in a little Business 101-- which I am qualified to teach-- seeing as I have earned an MBA...

Insurance Company Profit = earned premium + investment income - incurred loss - underwriting expenses.

So this is the basic business model for ALL insurance. The idea behind insurance is transferring or sharing risk. We can quibble all day-- about earned premium and how to define it, in terms of health insurance it is the money we pay in premium from our pay combined with our employer contribution (which is why COBRA is so blooming expensive-- you pay the whole entire amount... yours and your former employers.)

When a independent business owner(solo practitioner) or freelancer goes to an insurance provider, often times they purchase an individual contract, the rules for those are different, there is more risk to the insurance company, they are insuring one person or one family. Group insurance, like what most of us have at work, the rates are based on the pool of people and not the individuals. As such this is why there are no physicals and many of these plans are covered by ERISA-- which is a complex set of Federal guidelines which cover all manner of employee benefit plans. (Big Gov't is already nosing around your insurance. Has been since the 60s.)

So even though I am fit and active and eat a super healthy mostly organic diet, the person two cubes over might well smoke, gobble Doritos, never drink anything but Coke, and refuse to climb stairs. They might well choose to do drugs on the weekends or on the flip side engage in weekend warrior behaviors that their body is really not up for... I get no say in that. They get to make their own choices. We all pay a premium based on the group's overall costliness annually.

Let's go back to our formula:

Insurance Company Profit = earned premium + investment income - incurred loss - underwriting expenses.

Ever since insurance companies became publicly traded companies, the Profit is basically guaranteed. No CEO is going to steer the company in a direction that does not generate shareholder (his) wealth. Not. Going. To. Happen.

So the Insurance company will do their best to control costs of underwriting and administration (aka loss), they will seek to curb the benefits paid out (EOB with bullshit exclusions and other delay tactics designed to just not pay claims) and other limits to what they will and won't pay for. I am not saying fairly and disclosed limits are not kosher. They are. Asking people to pay a portion of the costs is fair-- if it is clearly disclosed.

(self funded plans are another animal, but the idea is the same... yearly surplus is substituted for Insurance company profits and ERISA governs the proper use of this as well.)

Another way to ensure profit is to continually raise premium costs to participants. I have never not had a premium increase on a year over year basis. Once-- at my first job out of college, we got a rebate. A small one. Not nearly equal to what we paid a month in premium.

So we all pay for life style choices we may not agree with. Most major religions come with prohibitions and some overlap and others are in direct opposition. We all pay for our co-workers' lifestyle choices which are in direct conflict with our own.

I say for as long as our employers demand we pay a portion of the premium, any portion, then we all should have a say in the coverage. Or there should just be a standard of coverage which is universal. Sex is no more a risky or costly choice than smoking. They both have known and frankly quantifiable, in terms of costs, possible outcomes which impact the underwriting of insurance. Insurance companies have priced out the cost of every sneeze and hangnail.

So I think we have a few choices-- nix group health insurance and have it be every man, woman and child for themselves. Individual policies all around. Which would be pricey, but technically speaking no one would be paying for other people's choices. (although that likely isn't exactly true. Insurance companies pool their premium dollars, so this would be to their benefit, they charge more for individual policies and still have a pool of dollars to invest and pay out, but technically speaking your premium would be based solely on you and your families health and choices, and age.)

Or we just take some time to understand how group insurance works and accept that discrimination isn't really in any of our best interest, because I am not all that tolerant of smokers and I know I have shouldered the burden of their "choices" to poison themselves and their loved ones for years... way longer than I was ever on birth control... and I am willing to bet next month's premium it costs us all alot more to cover smokers and smoking related illness than comprehensive gynecological care ever will.

So unless we are going to not cover people who are smoking because of the choices they are making-- I think the argument that childbearing and birth control and family planning are "choices" is bogus.

The Letter A...

I have read The Scarlet Letter more times than I care to remember. Oy, it is dense prose, so very dense. That said I was thinking about my recent music Monday post. I don't want to go back to 1776 or even 1850, the time Hawthorne was writing and certainly not 1680-- the time of Hester Pyrnne. Have the people who speak about going back-- really read any of the literature of time, cracked a history book? I don't think so.

I certainly do not want trade my freedoms now for a life that Hester and her daughter Pearl would have lived. A life of a theocracy. Puritan legalism is still alive and well in our culture, it is dying but it was in full force in Hester's life. There is a movement, among mostly Republicans to go back, to go back to this time, where "god" was a legal scholar and where one interpretation of truth and justice was the only interpretation. The grand irony is, when they branded her with the A-- for adulteress, and cast her out, she found freedom. She had rejected their ways and rejected their culture and found a new way. A way of enlightenment. In many ways Hawthorne is speaking through Hester but even in his life time, there was little religious freedom. There was not one state church, but American culture was very wrapped up in repressions of a religious sorts. It was also a time of great rebellion-- on the continent and soon to be had in the United States. Some say Hester is a metaphor for countries and revolution and enlightenment. Maybe so, but the reality is, this is the status of women, at the time. What I have always loved is Hawthorne at least made her an active participant in her life. She was not seduced or raped. She conceived a child in love, at least we are lead to believe that.

I will also give Purtians their due-- unlike our culture, which is very much rooted in Victorianism, males who committed adultery where also branded. That means men like Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain, Bill Clinton and John Edwards would have similarly been branded.

In the North-American Puritan settlements of the 17th century, men and women sentenced for having committed acts of adultery were branded with an "A" letter on their chest (men) or bosom (women). (from Wikipedia)

 That aside, I do not want to return to a time where other people's morality are the judge and jury of my behavior. We can all have an opinion about adultery, mowing the lawn on Sundays, the consumption of beer and wine or brewed anything for matter, eating meat or not eating meat and so on and so on. There is no one right answer. Since our country is founded on the very principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It really does not get anymore clear:

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. (see the real deal here)

So I fail to see how we can say in one breath (I am looking at you GOP) that we want to go back to the time the Bill of Rights was written and then in the next breath say that we need to protect God's commandments? Oh really, which ones and which God? There are so many versions and flavors running around. (and btw I don't really care for any of them.)

Women were no more free and equal partners in 1850 than they were in 1680. Adultery is still illegal in many states in 2012. Now branding, thank goodness is no longer the punishment, but the law is still on the books. (and Ladies... the rules for you are vastly different than for the men. In fact it really is all on us ladies. Oh goodie, look how far we have come...)

I hope I am being convincing here. I really don't want to go back. The correct direction is forward. We learn as we grow and from our mistakes. Remember in 1776 they walked around in their own sewage. On a hot day that had to be so pleasant. Our laws should always error on the side of inclusion. They should not be based on anyone's holy text and they should not ever make someone a 2nd class citizen.  If we think a behavior is inappropriate or a social custom isn't for us, then we don't do it. We can write about it, we can join groups of like minded people, who also don't do it, we can build big buildings and hang out with other people who don't do it, we can discuss with our children openly and honestly why we do or don't so something,  but we cannot make laws that force everyone to do it this "one right way aka OUR way." There isn't one right way.

I like my tea, my bacon, and freedom. I don't like tobacco, raw sewage and narrow minded people.

See, there was that so hard? No need to go back. If some people want to wallow in their own sewage, I am not going to stop them. I am not going to visit them either.

The Library-- my first love

I love the library. I have had a love affair with the library since the first time I ever went to the library with my mother. I used to dream of being locked in the library overnight. All those books. I wanted desperately to get a job working at the library in high school, but it never happened. I did do some work study in college, shelving books in the science library. Not the same, really not the same.

For the last three years, I have volunteered in the school library. I like it. It is basically easy and I am helping the library run smoothly. It maximizes the library budget to have parent volunteers in place of a full time library aide. (I often do the anti-social thing and listen to a book on audible while shelving the books!)

In general I go once a month and can fill in from time to time. Next school year, I will volunteer twice a month. I am not going to do the lunch room. The lunch room grosses me out.

This year as a thank you card, the librarian sent us a note which included the library stats. I thought they were pretty impressive.

35, 121 books circulated and shelved! 

900 holds placed and filled

303 new books added to the collection

550 kids read to every week

49 books highlighted weekly.

50 volunteers.... that means on average each volunteer shelves.... 702 books in a school year!

This summer the kids and I are going to the library weekly and focused on reading this summer. I don't love our local library. It is very small and the collection is tiny compared to the number of patrons checking out. There is another library, a bit further away, that we sometimes go to and it is better!

I think our library system is pretty neat. They do a great job with what they have and I love the focus on community and providing the resources the community needs.

My goal this summer is to read 7 books. I have read one and have another one almost finished. How about you? Are you reading this summer?

Lemon Ade-- Adult Beverage Style

Better Homes and Gardens comes to our house, for reasons I am very unsure of, but it comes and sometimes it gets read and more often than not, it ends up in a pile to be recycled or cut up. I am making an effort to look at it more. They do have very sensible home decorating ideas. The recipes are hit or miss.

In the June issue I spotted a recipe for a Rosemary Lemon Drop. I read through it and decided immediately that I had to make it. Now would be a good time to say that I suffer from summer drink envy. Fun and festive drinks are just not my forte. I know so many friends who make fantastic sangria, tremendous ice teas, and great mixed drinks. I am not one of these people. I aspire to be one of these people, but currently, I am not one of those drink specialists.

This Adult Beverage, as E dubbed it, is very easy to make.

Here is what you will need for my version, which is a half version of what was in the June BHG.

1.5 bottles of white wine (such as Pinot Grigio, I personally think it would work with a nice medium sweet Riesling.)

4 lemons

4 sprigs of rosemary

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

Peel the lemons carefully. You want to have the peel but none of the bitter white part. I think you could zest them, but I peeled them.

Combine in a pan and bring to a boil the sugar, water, lemon peel and three sprigs of rosemary. Boil gently for 2 minutes after the sugar has fully dissolved and then cool to room temperature.

Juice the peeled and now naked lemons.

After the sugar mixture has cooled, strain it into a pitcher or sun tea type container. Pour in the wine and the lemon juice. Stir and add 3 cups of ice (less if the ice is crushed.) Add in sliced lemons and the remaining sprig of rosemary.

Serve with or without ice in the glasses.

This also works with half lemons and half limes... (just saying!) It keeps for about three days in the fridge!

I do not advise drinking it before you go to graduation parties or weddings or dinner parties. It packs a punch. I tried to find the original recipe on line but with no success. I did make changes to the original and I think if you use a sweeter wine than what I picked, you might not want all the sugar syrup. I would say this is a "to taste call", add some syrup, taste and then adjust. You can always add more, you cannot take too much back out.

Happy Sipping! If you have a favorite summer adult beverage recipe, I am ALL ears, send it my way!

The Chunky Monkey

I like to switch my breakfast up from time to time and I have developed the Chunky Monkey. This is great for when I want a bit more substance or am out of key veggies in my Green Monster.

1c chocolate soy milk
1c of ice, less if crushed
about a 1/4 c of chunky peanut butter (or your favorite peanut butter)
1 large banana

Blend in the vitamix until smooth

Now if you do not have chocolate milk or if your beautiful Little Fellow has drank all the chocolate soy milk, plain or vanilla work fine. I suspect dairy milk would work as would almond milk or even rice, although the rice milk I think would make it thinner. Depending on how ripe the banana is, you may need to add a tiny bit of honey. Also if you are out of chocolate milk, but have chocolate peanut butter handy, that works perfectly too...

I know you are all thinking-- wowza that is alot of peanut butter, but honestly, this is my breakfast. Generally my go to breakfast if lunch is going be several hours later. Also, I am not doing grains, so I am finding it takes more to fill me up. Adjust to suit your needs.

The Green Monster

The other day I posted about my break up with grain, any grain, all grain, the few remaining grains I was eating regularly.

Let me introduce you to my breakfast replacement:

While it is a slightly complex process, it tastes wonderful and I know exactly what is in it.

The Basic Green Monster

1c of juice (I make my own, see below. In a pinch I have used farmers market apple cider or apple juice. I tried green tea or left over ice tea and well, it wasn't the best choice. I think orange juice would be ok, but I read recently about real orange juice not being so real, so I will leave that all up to you.)

1 c ice (less if already crushed)

2 hand fulls of spinach (I prefer the organic baby spinach)

1-2 inches or to taste raw ginger, unpeeled

1/2 c baby carrots (like 5-7)

1 orange peeled

Blend-- in the vitamix until smooth.

*** variations I have tried... omit the orange and use an apple. Omit the orange and use pineapple chunks. Omit the orange and add in some berries. I tried water melon and I am not sure how I felt about it. I think I should do it again.

What happens when your Sweetie eats your spinach?? Well you get an Orange Monster which is just as tasty, but missing something...

As to my juice base-- I invested in a juicer and this is what I do--

I juice 6-7 medium carrots and 4-6 oranges. If I have apples, I add a few, although the apple juice will turn brownish as time goes on, but it is fine. If I can find them, I add a yellow beet or two. Sometimes I have pears, they work also. This makes enough to almost fill a large canning jar and it will keep in the refrigerator for about 2-3 days.

Next week, I will fill you in on the Chunky Monkey! Another breakfast favorite.

Spring: A mostly photo essay

My Twitter followers will know most of these photos. I love Instagram and Twitter for sharing my quick snapshots. I have to say spring has sprung and sprung early in the yarden. It has been a wonderful spring. I hope the weather holds and we have an equally fantastic summer.

 We have had the most butterflies and moths this year and SO early too. Generally we get a few monarchs and maybe a grey/orange moth, but this year we have had a nice variety.

 This is our Iris. My MIL snuck over one afternoon and randomly planted this beauty. In the ten summers we have been in this house, it has spread and it blooms beautifully.

 These mini Iris like plants bloomed the most they ever have. So petite and pretty.

 These daisies were a surprise along the path to school. I think they are a weed that mimics actual daises, but beautiful nonetheless.

 This little guy was clinging to the wall of the tunnel on the path to school. I wonder what he will grow up to be?

 My owlies were enjoying the lovely peonies I had this year. In the middle of May. Peonies at Memorial Day maybe, but the weekend of Mother's Day-- no way!

 Twitter made me do it! I made chive blooms vinegar. It was very easy and it is tasty. I think it will make some great salad dressings!

 My first farmer's market haul. I love the farmer's market. It is so fun and so healthy too.

 I swear I did not photoshop this picture, not even a little bit. This is my freebie Iris. A neighbor last year was splitting and giving them away. Normally Iris will not bloom the spring after being moved. This Iris did not get that memo and we enjoyed this amazing bloom for a week or so. I can't wait until the whole bunch blooms next year.

 I got alot of these daisies this year. I love the color! The deer eat these, but there were plenty for us all this year.

 My finally daisies. I have tried and tried to get daisies to fill in this space. We have this space near the driveway and nothing wants to grow. Finally, I have prevailed!

 Volunteer snap dragons. I planted some here a few years ago, these guys decided to pop up this year. Fine with me. I love volunteers!

Snickers is bringing new meaning to sitting in the sun. She is totally enjoying the warm days and warm nights. She is napping all over the place. It is good to have her patrolling the yarden.

Alas grain-- it isn't you, it really is me...

It is no secret. I struggle with my GI system... I have struggled with it for years. Many days it really is true, my body does hate me. My body has the communication skills of a toddler. My body can be peaceful and cooperative or it can basically throw a fit of a violent nature (vomiting at the drop of a hat, something akin to a raging river of diarrhea, hives that cover me from head to toe and look like the worst sunburn ever-- you get the idea) and sometimes, my body sulks for days on end... you know, fatigue, bloating, nausea.

Since E's arrival, I have actively been trying to learn the language of my body. Forget the Baby Whisperer, I have become the Body Whisperer. I have struggled and strained to hear my body and then act.

As with temperamental toddlers, this is very much more about Art than Science. It also is very connected to what I shared recently. Fear. I am afraid and rightly so, that you will think all of this is in my head. Why do I think this, all of you wonder? Because more than one person during this 7 year odyssey has said so. Even H has thought it is was in my head a time or two.

I have heard it all, from scientific to just plain rude.

"There is no scientific basis to think that corn..."

"Your lab results simply do not show us..."

"She is doing it for attention..."

"Why must you be so picky..."

"Surly a little bit won't kill you..."

"Well we would have invited you but your diet is just too complicated..."

In the last two years, I have made great strides and from a very low point. My B12 level was so low it was scary, I was hungry, I was sick, really sick with raging river diarrhea almost daily and I looked it.

In the last 18 months, even with the stress of my mother's illness and death, I have made wonderful strides in terms of my gut. I finally found a medical doctor, who was not interested in selling me supplements (which paid a huge cut to the doctor) and found a doctor who would listen to me, do a well rounded amount of blood work and validate my condition, even if that condition does not exactly have a name or a national support group.

I was so excited when she said it wasn't in my head and NO I wasn't fine.

All of that said, I have had a few set backs. Late winter and early spring, my clothes stopped fitting and I was a bloated mess. Nothing in my diet had changed. I greet these moments with such dread. At a certain point I cannot eat much less and I felt I had been doing such a great job.

As it stood this winter my menu choices excluded: gluten (wheat, rye, oats, spelt), corn, tree nuts (including coconut), and dairy.

I was able to add back in eggs, which has been awesome.

So you can imagine my dismay this winter when I began to consider just what more could I omit. I simply don't eat processed foods, certainly not the run of the mill ones.

Then while I was having lunch with my doctor, who is also a friend, we were discussing teff, an ancient grain used in much of Ethiopian and Somali cuisine. It breaks down differently in the gut, thus not causing a reaction in people with a gluten intolerance.

Light Bulb moment.

What if I simply cannot break down ANY grain efficiently. Could this be why things with sorghum flour or too much rice flour bother me from time to time...

I also know that unless I am eating brown rice, the nutritional value of rice is small.

About 6 weeks ago, I took a long hard look at my diet and decided to think about grains the way the food pyramid says to look at fats. I can have some rice or some gluten free baked goods, but in extreme moderation. I have totally revamped my breakfast.

Now I am focused on fruits and veggies. I am making my own juice blends using my juicer and that is the base for most of my Vita Mix creations. So if it isn't eggs for breakfast, it is a homemade smoothie.

I can totally tell a difference. I am not crashing in the morning after breakfast. My overall puffy factor has decreased remarkably. I suspect that all those jeans I got rid of in a fit a few weeks ago, they would most likely fit now.

My hope is this summer I can really pack my diet with fresh veggies and fruit from the farmers market and make this transition complete.

I think even the gluten free processed items, the bagels or crackers or what have you were weighing me down, literally. I don't know if it is science or art, all I care about is feeling my best and looking my best and being able to keep up with my busy, busy kiddos and to stop the bone crushing fatigue in its tracks. If that means no gluten free pasta or a sandwich, then so be it. I now reserve my grain consumption to one meal a day and then just a little bit. I can eat sushi or Indian with basmati, but that is the grain allotment for the day.

So the B12, the new probiotic, the fiber supplement, and now the drastic reduction of gluten free grains, I feel like I am really on the road to feeling my best. So really, it has been me all along.