Like being 16 again...

I will come out and say it - I have read and I loved every single book in the Twilight series. My collage age baby sitter started the madness and I have to say I am glad she did.

I think the books are compelling - well written and frankly exactly what I read when I was 16. They held my attention and have sparked something in my imagination. The story is sweet and very much the stuff of young girls fantasies.

I think that they stories are compelling because they are so grounded in fantasy - but at its core there is a message - there are little tidbits of wisdom. But they are like tea sandwiches and not the huge mega sub sized message most adults think teenagers need.

In a time of half naked women on MTV and sex in the high school bathrooms - I think these stories are refreshingly old fashioned - while not down playing the laws of human interaction, attraction and desire.

They are worth the read and they are at the end of the day fantasy and sometimes that is exactly what a good book should be - entertainment.

Consumption

Consumption ironically during the industrial revolution was the name used for the disease we now call TB. Wealthy people to trips to the sea - for the healing properties of the warmth. Consumption consumes a persons air.

Fast forward to today and we view consumption as our ability to buy things. We consume natural resources and we consume large quantities of food and we consume whatever we can get our hands on.

I am not a huge fan of conspicuous consumption. Sure H and I have a lovely house in a lovely neighborhood and we each have a car and I have a closet full of clothing. The children are well dressed, although I am choosy about what I purchase for them and I will admit I could do less laundry if they had more outfits - but why? They grow out of their clothes so fast.

I am somewhat brand conscious - but frankly I would be hard pressed to spot Prada at 50 paces. The clothing I have currently is is not brands ones sees regularly in a fashion magazine. A friend was talking about Burberry and I had to google it... and btw a tan and black plaid bikini is so not sexy it is all manner of scary. I caught a whiff of some show on Bravo called "The Real Housewives of New York." and I was nauseated...

L & E do not have an X-box nor a Wii or any of that nonsense. Nor will they be getting it at all - if H and I have our way! They do not have iPods nor do they Leapsters or the like... they do have plenty of books. They have toys. Toys which stimulate their imagination. We have a chore chart and as they earn stars they can redeem them for books or special events. Like a trip for ice cream with Mommy.

For me life is about experiences and not stuff. I could care about stuff. There are a few material items which I care about and the rest - I could walk away from tomorrow. It is stuff.

So when I read this article in Marie Clarie about freegans... I was a touch shocked and one part - WOW - that works for me on one level (well not so much cuz - I have a limited menu already...) but I was impressed. It is a radical approach to life - but clearly it is working for people. I can see how it works mostly in urban centers.

I have no plans to go try it. But it did solidify my notion that I want to make this year much more about shopping locally and buying things which people make. I did this in NYC and I am aiming to do it here - for the balance of the year - as much as I can. I can impact my local economy. I am tired of all the stuff made in China and all the cheap bits of junk we buy and think are important to us - when what should be important to us - is our family and loved ones.

Our economy and culture are so wrapped up in consumption and I for one think it is changing the landscape in a profound way and eventually it will consume us.

My friend J always said she could see me in overalls growing organic veggies - and on one hand she is correct. I for one think it is a damn shame that most communes are inhabited by religious nut jobs - because I for one think the commune concept has merits!

AIG

I have said it before and I will say it again. Certain companies on Wall Street are nothing more than incorporated packs of thieves. Actually that is unfair to thieves - who do on some level have a certain code of honor. The people at AIG have no common sense and no honor. A retention bonus you say... I say hit the road Jack and don't you come back around here no more... you ran a perfectly good company into the ground. Your bonus is for shit... turn a company into shit and that is your bonus - shit.

Crass but true.

I am so over it... no one who is upper management deserves any bonus - unless the company is making a profit. It is just that simple. I may be a girl with only half of an MBA - but that seems like management 101 to me...

Balance...

Something I am seeking and not finding in abundance of late. School is wearing on me. I am tired. My brain is tired. The freelance work is not what I would like and I have decided to put a hold on it for a bit. I really want to focus on creative works and my poetry.

The way I see it - I have 18 months or so, before I am done with my MBA and able to realistically think about full-time employment again - either contract work or being a company gal again, so I ought to use my time to finish school, enjoy the little people and write my great American novel.

While I might look to intern or something in an area that interests me, I am done chasing my tail and making no money. I can make no money- while writing my novel and that feeds my soul - the former just bleeds off brain cells and makes me cranky.

Not to mention L is having her tonsils removed this summer and between that and her handful of camps - it is unlikely I can tackle any projects of substance anyway...

Rules of Comment

I think this is funny. Thanks to an LJ friend from posting it! They capture the art of a comment perfectly. I love comments - with proper grammar!

Stiletto beauty give away...

This from Victoria the editor at Stiletto beauty:

Good morning everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I launched a giveaway of Honeybee Gardens all natural beauty products on Stiletto Beauty this morning. All anyone has to do to enter is leave a comment on the blog post before March 31.

The link to the post is: http://www.stilettobeautyonline.com/2009/03/honeybee-gardens-giveaway.html

I've sent it out to all my friends, family, etc. and thought you might want to do the same.

Have a lovely weekend,
Victoria

Victoria Blackburn
Beauty & Fashion Editor - Stiletto Woman, Inc.
http://www.stilettobeautyonline.com/

Go check her site out and comment and you are in the running... it is that easy and honestly - she has some great fashion and beauty info there.

(Also swing by my site... I am conducting a poll and have been busy posting....)

Penthouse or Jailhouse...

I am on hand pleased that it seems Bernie Madhoff is going to cop to what he did - he appears ready to take responsibility for his greed and unethical behavior and plea guilty to lying and cheating and stealing.

Good show! Finally one of the Wall Street dogs is ponying up and admitting to be a dirty rotten scoundrel. Finally!

While I will not say he has found his honor - I will say finally someone is willing to admit to wrong doing and scheming and lying.

Even better - he will have to go to jail!

My issue today? Await sentencing in his penthouse - NO WAY! He should go directly to jail and NOT pass GO! His investors have had a dramatic reversal in fortune and I see no reason for Bernie to have the luxury of a penthouse. A cot in a multi man cell should be just the thing.

On day it is caviar and the next it is shit on a shingle...

Writers block

Well not really. But I think it is decision time... for 18 months I have been building a portfolio and trying to develop a business plan - to make writing pay. And I have been paid. I really and truly have and I also have written and not gotten paid.

I have taken on some writing for a new magazine and something hit me... this is not what I want to be doing. I do not want to be spending a half an hour on the phone trying to get someone to talk to me about where to Salsa in Columbus, so that I can write a 200 word story and get paid $X if they publish and $Y if they kill. Seriously - that is less than than p cents a word and trust me I charge my corporate clients way more than that.

Now I like the exposure... but it comes at a price and the REAL price of late is that of my true passion - my kiddos and my novel and my poetry.

The bottom line is when E is in school full time- my plan is to be A) be published or B) utilizing my MBA and making some real money OR both. A friend used to say I was selling myself short and I used to counter that I was paying my dues.

This week I think I have finally decided I am selling myself short.

My goal is not to be a magazine author or editor. I have no real desire to be a journalist. I like writing marketing copy, curriculum, training materials and business documents - like white and gray papers and grants. That is what I want to do professionally - not chase Zumba instructors and write about Sakitinis.... unless of course I am writing menu descriptions of Sakitinis - then perhaps that is different.

And what I really want to do is write poetry and fiction for a living - but I am doubtful that that will ever really pay.

So the big thing for me - I have to decide what to do - because frankly I am burning myself out. I really and truly am. I was jazzed writing poetry for the Nake Sunfish this week and my upcoming workshop at Kenyon this summer. I am jazzed writing personal essays.

I also am feeling myself sinking into my normal trap of doing what I think is practical verses what I WANT TO BE DOING and well - it has made me pissy!

I went tonight to a poetry round table and read my work to other poets and songwriters and I made them cry and laugh and my work moved them. This is why I choose to be a writer.

I want to make an impact! I want to move people... I never went into writing to make money - I think I can make money writing and I have - but I think it is time to be choosier about the projects I take on... cuz if I am not feeling it - how can I possibly make others feel anything either - I am good but not that good.

I like writing the business blog and I even liked writing about chairs, I generally have enjoyed writing the MBA papers...

But I know in my heart - I am not a news hound and I know I am done selling myself for cheap... I would rather write a my novel and make nothing until I sell it - than feel the way I felt writing about salsa dancing... there is no passion as I write that story and yet I worked on my short story last night for the Washington Post contest with much passion and enthusiasm.

I have talent... the trick I think is to make sure I am developing the talent I like and not the talent I think will make me money... I can get a straight job with my MBA - I want my passion and my craft to be about an accurate expression of me...and my world view... I want to write right.

Cancer Live - on speed dial!

So my mom is feeling pretty good. She has been off work, while letting the glow fade and she has been taking care of business and resting. She head back to work on Monday and is planning to take it slow and maybe work a few 6 hour days to get back into the swing of things.

This past week she and I have cleaned some at her place, run some errands and had some meetings.

On Thrusday as we drove to L's school, for lunch, in the school cafeteria, I asked Mom if she had heard from the "Grand Pooh-bah!" and she said she had not! Which just stymied me. They pumped her full of arguable poisonous amounts of a dangerous radioactive substance and then send her home and NO ONE calls? I mean really!

So as we pull into the drive thru to get her a hamburger and L some chicken nuggets - her cell goes off.

Who is it you ask? The Pope? No he was sleeping is my guess... No it is the Grand Pooh-bah! One of the only thyroid cancer specialist in the US - is calling my Mom's cell personally! Woot!

And the icing on the cake? He had good news. There was significant uptake on the scan - so the low/no idoine diet that we worked so hard on - worked. Her body was depleted enough of iodine that those pesky tumors sucked up the Radioactive Iodine with a straw! Awesome.

She has to have another CAT scan in a month and then she sees the Grand Pooh-Bah in May!

It was good news. We are lucky to live in a city with a wonderful cancer center and as a Team - my mom, H, my bro and I are banding together to kick Cancer in the butt! One day at a time, one challenge at a time, and one step at a time!

I can compute...

I will be the first to admit, I know enough about the internet to surf and WE all know I have managed to keep the Edge looking pretty darn spiffy. Yep me and google/blogger are tight!

But may I just say... I just configured my Outlook - all by myself - with no one holding my hand and no one directly coaching me. Me and the Help tab did it all alone. And I did a bit of trouble shooting - Go Me! And I am pleased to say... it works... (Now my web guy did give me fairly clear instructions - but still, I was one plugging it in and making it work...)

I have switched web hosts - and no I have no idea what that really means - I guess it means I used to be sitting in booth A (well not me - my page in cyberspace... www.imageswritten.biz) and now I am sitting in Booth C!

So - in the space of a few days - I have stretched a bit of my Web presence muscle and I am learning things! Not that I will remember it for the next time, but hey I am patting myself on the back all the same!

Maybe I will seriously look into that HTML class of FLASH or whatever. I could be a cool cyberpunk chick in no time flat.

I used to have no idea what to do and now I am learning to be my own helpdesk. It is all about doing more with less these days!