Monday, May 7, 2012

Music Monday: Peter Gabriel - Digging in the Dirt

Disclaimer, this is a repeat musical selection but not a repeat blog post. I posted this song last Halloween after it played a critical roll in L's Halloween Dance Show. That said, I am posting again.

On Friday I posted a Facebook status update, which was very clever. I said: Digging in the Dirt. I meant I was going to go pot some herbs. I also was thinking about this very song - Digging in the Dirt.

My very clever and wonderful BFF responded: To find the places we got hurt. Great Peter Gabriel song!

She is a clever one that BFF.

I think I have been probing around at things that hurt. The trip to NYC has made me wistful. If I am objective, I have been on and off auto-pilot since my mother passed away. It is difficult to grieve and raise little kids. Life really does go on, even if you have to race to keep up with it. 

There is a void left when a loved on passes away, but for me, the care giver, the dutiful daughter, there is another void. So much of my life, of my life choices have been tied up with the care and maintenance of my mother.  That "now what" feeling seems to be clinging to me. 

Add to that the abundance of deferred projects, the I will "get to it later"s and you can only imagine the daunting tasks that have stood in front of me since last November. It has taken me a long time to dig myself out and I am not really there yet either. There is still more to do.

I am also battling some realities which I don't really like, but am accepting slowly.

So yes, I am digging in the dirt...


Di said...

I think your BFF is right on. As my therapist says, "Hurt people hurt people". The crazy thing is...someone else just mentioned this song to me and told me I was "digging in the dirt" in my own current circumstances. Those damn messages from the Universe get through to us in all kinds of ways.

Susan said...

I think sometimes we think the digging portion should be quick business and it just isn't quick. My therapists says a year is a good time frame. I think there is some truth to that... grieving for a year or at least allowing for an extended amount of time.