I cannot say enough about how 2007 - for me has been a very good year. Just look back through the posts on my blog. I have been busy, I have been empowered, I have conquered and I have reflected and rebuilt.
I have made some new friends this year - who with their spirit and their gift of friendship have touch me deeply. I have stayed in touch and in many cases strengthen some of my existing friendship - you are all so special to me.
I ran a half marathon and I am please to report I want to do it again! I am now wearing size 6 jeans and a size 4 skirt - and I am eating foods which nourish my body instead of taxing it and making me ill. I have accepted it for the situation that I have and I have been creative about food and I also see it in a very different light. I do not live to eat, I eat to live and live life to its fullest.
I have also after almost half a lifetime - accepted me for me. I love the woman I have become - she is product of experience, of choices and of hard work. She is funny, she is vibrant, she is finally feeling very confident in herself. She is strong yet sensitive and most of all - she is happy in the moment.
I have always been somewhat horrified yet fascinated by snakes. The idea that as they grow - they shed their skin. It must be uncomfortable to have the outer layer of skin loosen and break away from your body - to then split and flake off. I now see the value in this process. What is underneath - is so much more - that the discomfort with the shedding process is sharply overshadowed by the beauty underneath.
It feels good - this new skin I am in!
Happy New Year. May 2008 be just as great!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Blog Highlights - 2007
I wanted to say I have had a very good year on the blog. H said a month or so ago - "you know I can totally tell a difference in your blogs - you have grown." Ah thanks honey! I agree. They have gotten easier - I have found my voice, my style - or styles. I have experienced alot in 2007 and much of it I have written about.
As a point of housekeeping - my readership has nearly doubled - it is still not huge - but I am watching and thank you all for checking me out. I write to fulfill some part of me and I like to write and I used to write in my journal for my eyes only and now I write here and share it with you all and it is very touching that you take the time to check me out and read what I have to say.
At the middle of this year I hit 100 entries - yeah! I was so happy. I also added labels to all my posts and my beloved pet - who is that the very bottom of the blog - she cracks me up and she is so much fun!
I think writers are quiet exhibitionists. We want people to see us - to see the realness of us - but without having to see you see us. What I am saying is being an actor or actress - your craft is very public - your art is visual and people see you - or see your projection, your creation with their eyes.
A writer is hidden, behind a keyboard - behind words - and yet they are not. I have invited you into my life - by featuring my thoughts and my opinions and stories from my life. My hope is that I can entertain you, inform you, and share with you the richness that is my life and my perspective.
All the best for the New Year! I promise more of the same - some serious thoughts and some less serious one - but rest assured there is much more to come - from Thoughts from the edge!
As a point of housekeeping - my readership has nearly doubled - it is still not huge - but I am watching and thank you all for checking me out. I write to fulfill some part of me and I like to write and I used to write in my journal for my eyes only and now I write here and share it with you all and it is very touching that you take the time to check me out and read what I have to say.
At the middle of this year I hit 100 entries - yeah! I was so happy. I also added labels to all my posts and my beloved pet - who is that the very bottom of the blog - she cracks me up and she is so much fun!
I think writers are quiet exhibitionists. We want people to see us - to see the realness of us - but without having to see you see us. What I am saying is being an actor or actress - your craft is very public - your art is visual and people see you - or see your projection, your creation with their eyes.
A writer is hidden, behind a keyboard - behind words - and yet they are not. I have invited you into my life - by featuring my thoughts and my opinions and stories from my life. My hope is that I can entertain you, inform you, and share with you the richness that is my life and my perspective.
All the best for the New Year! I promise more of the same - some serious thoughts and some less serious one - but rest assured there is much more to come - from Thoughts from the edge!
Friday, December 28, 2007
ah flowers in the spring....
well more like flowers in December - but they are so lovely I had to share them. Friends gave them to us - they are beautiful and smell wonderful and well I had to brighten the blog with the also!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Be glad you can
Today I was chatting with a cyber friend - who is very into world events and very much globally politically aware and well really really smart. I have often been in awe of his overall smartness - until today he lays on me that he seldom votes. He said:
I refuse to assent the principle that (for example) either John Kerry or George Bush would be a good choice to lead the world.
and further he says...
What I am not willing to do is let my name be used to justified innumerable policies I despise.
Well let me to be the first to say that I think our current system is a bit on the broken side, it has flaws, the bi-partisan fighting is enough to choke me most days - but the fact remains our democratic system works best when we all participate. Furthermore, our system with flaws and all works better than say some of the alternatives - it allows us many freedoms and yet it requires of us certain responsibilities. Voting is one of them.
I strongly believe that if more than say 50% (in a good year) of the populace voted we might actually see some real change. I also think that if the majority - or better yet all Americans' voted - a 3rd party candidate might stand a real chance.
I am of the opinion that the only day your opinion really matters - is Election Day. On no other day is everyone tuned in and listening. I can rant and rave and write letters (and nasty blog entries) until the cows come home - but to effect real change - one has to be willing to exercise the rights granted to them - by getting off their asses and voting. A little grass roots political action might not hurt - but I would take voting on Election Day.
Did the non-voters out there - who share my friend's point of view ever stop to think that we are getting mediocrity, because the majority of Americans' expect so very little. They care so very little that do not bother to vote. They do not bother to be informed and vote. Being informed and ranting about how they dislike the system does very little.
Did I love John Kerry? No not really. Did I vote him, you bet your ass! I like him a lot more than I liked GW. I still like him more than GW. I like the man who collects my garbage more than I like GW. Did I feel like once again I was voting for the lesser of 2 evils - you bet your ass I did - but bottom line - those were the choices before me and it is my right, my duty, my responsibility to vote.
This season - I am unimpressed by anyone candidate or pairing of candidates - but I will be voting in the primary and then come November I will vote again - hoping that it is for who I think can do the best job - but knowing that it is just as likely I will be voting again for who can screw it up the least.
Either way I will be counted and I will be voting - because I can and many a person has died protecting this privilege or worse yet trying to exercise this privilege in other parts of the world.
Is it not one of the reasons GW gave for invading Iraq and putting countless young men and women's lives at risk - to spread Democracy. Well I for one - while I maintain the War is a cover for many things rather undemocratic - still believe that should the factions in Iraq get it together - the right of all citizens to vote is an important. It will be a small success. We would do well to remember that one here at home.
I refuse to assent the principle that (for example) either John Kerry or George Bush would be a good choice to lead the world.
and further he says...
What I am not willing to do is let my name be used to justified innumerable policies I despise.
Well let me to be the first to say that I think our current system is a bit on the broken side, it has flaws, the bi-partisan fighting is enough to choke me most days - but the fact remains our democratic system works best when we all participate. Furthermore, our system with flaws and all works better than say some of the alternatives - it allows us many freedoms and yet it requires of us certain responsibilities. Voting is one of them.
I strongly believe that if more than say 50% (in a good year) of the populace voted we might actually see some real change. I also think that if the majority - or better yet all Americans' voted - a 3rd party candidate might stand a real chance.
I am of the opinion that the only day your opinion really matters - is Election Day. On no other day is everyone tuned in and listening. I can rant and rave and write letters (and nasty blog entries) until the cows come home - but to effect real change - one has to be willing to exercise the rights granted to them - by getting off their asses and voting. A little grass roots political action might not hurt - but I would take voting on Election Day.
Did the non-voters out there - who share my friend's point of view ever stop to think that we are getting mediocrity, because the majority of Americans' expect so very little. They care so very little that do not bother to vote. They do not bother to be informed and vote. Being informed and ranting about how they dislike the system does very little.
Did I love John Kerry? No not really. Did I vote him, you bet your ass! I like him a lot more than I liked GW. I still like him more than GW. I like the man who collects my garbage more than I like GW. Did I feel like once again I was voting for the lesser of 2 evils - you bet your ass I did - but bottom line - those were the choices before me and it is my right, my duty, my responsibility to vote.
This season - I am unimpressed by anyone candidate or pairing of candidates - but I will be voting in the primary and then come November I will vote again - hoping that it is for who I think can do the best job - but knowing that it is just as likely I will be voting again for who can screw it up the least.
Either way I will be counted and I will be voting - because I can and many a person has died protecting this privilege or worse yet trying to exercise this privilege in other parts of the world.
Is it not one of the reasons GW gave for invading Iraq and putting countless young men and women's lives at risk - to spread Democracy. Well I for one - while I maintain the War is a cover for many things rather undemocratic - still believe that should the factions in Iraq get it together - the right of all citizens to vote is an important. It will be a small success. We would do well to remember that one here at home.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Visions of Sucess
I used to work for a large financial services firm. It should come as no surprise that I still have ties there. We get the quarterly magazine. Sometimes I read it and sometimes I do not. This time around I did read it. As a piece of propaganda it is really very well done - as a source of entertainment - not really and as a source of truly useful information - well that remains to be seen.
This time around they are featuring clients who have with Firm X's help and guidance "Faced Down Disaster!" Normally I take this as the propaganda it is supposed to be and skim - but this article really held my attention.
The feature that highlights Joshua Hamby - who during the DOT.COM boom had the brainchild to create a medical information website - that would rival WedMD. He got the funding and lined up the talent - only to have the market turn and to be in a world of hurt. (We used to call this sideways in the biz!) Things went from bad to worse and it looked like he was going to lose his shirt and his investors' shirts as well. He turned to a former colleague and an adviser at Firm X. The advisor's advice was as follows:
This time around they are featuring clients who have with Firm X's help and guidance "Faced Down Disaster!" Normally I take this as the propaganda it is supposed to be and skim - but this article really held my attention.
The feature that highlights Joshua Hamby - who during the DOT.COM boom had the brainchild to create a medical information website - that would rival WedMD. He got the funding and lined up the talent - only to have the market turn and to be in a world of hurt. (We used to call this sideways in the biz!) Things went from bad to worse and it looked like he was going to lose his shirt and his investors' shirts as well. He turned to a former colleague and an adviser at Firm X. The advisor's advice was as follows:
"I told him to pick a date when he knew he could no longer stand the uncertainty of whether his business would fail. But until then, muster as much energy and creativity as you can to turn the business around. Then, what ever happens, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you did everything you possible to make the business succeed."
So in the end - thru some major leadership, some stock options (worthless at the time) and some fast footwork the site morphed and was ultimately sold for a tidy profit. He further lucked out when the buyer got acquired and his stock in that company shot up like a rocket.
I have heard this kind of story more than once - but it is the financial adviser's quote that stuck with me for days and made me reread the article. I think that is the key - "muster as much energy and creativity as you can...."
That is a powerful statement! Muster. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. I also think that "muster" implies really stretching, rethinking, regrouping, the entire bit. It implies - I think- going deep within yourself and pulling out that last little bit of whatever it is you have. Like gutting out the last few miles of the race. ( Which I can say is very satisfying but also very hard!)
I used to really fear failure - but over the last few years I have been reshaping what I think of as success and what I term failure. I have a different yard stick. I think the time frame is important - as with this example in the magazine - give it your all and be realistic with the time frame - then let the chips fall where they may. But at the end of the day you will know that you gave it your all.
In this case after the huge success - he went on to try a new venture - it is in his blood as they say.
I think it is valuable to to be realistic but to give yourself time to really make an honest and sincere effort. Achieving greatness will never happen overnight!
I have heard this kind of story more than once - but it is the financial adviser's quote that stuck with me for days and made me reread the article. I think that is the key - "muster as much energy and creativity as you can...."
That is a powerful statement! Muster. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. I also think that "muster" implies really stretching, rethinking, regrouping, the entire bit. It implies - I think- going deep within yourself and pulling out that last little bit of whatever it is you have. Like gutting out the last few miles of the race. ( Which I can say is very satisfying but also very hard!)
I used to really fear failure - but over the last few years I have been reshaping what I think of as success and what I term failure. I have a different yard stick. I think the time frame is important - as with this example in the magazine - give it your all and be realistic with the time frame - then let the chips fall where they may. But at the end of the day you will know that you gave it your all.
In this case after the huge success - he went on to try a new venture - it is in his blood as they say.
I think it is valuable to to be realistic but to give yourself time to really make an honest and sincere effort. Achieving greatness will never happen overnight!
Year end Blog Contest
Ok- so we are in the home stretch of 2007! It has been a great year and I am offering you all a chance at winning something! So I am throwing a little contest! All you have to do is leave me a comment on this post or for those of you who are reading but doing so in the QT - just email me your comment and I will count it! Ideally I would like to have the comments - but hey I am a reasonable girl.
So here is the deal - I am trolling for writing topics again - I know I am creative and I can come up with them on my own - but sometimes it is fun to write about something someone else has suggested! I am open to almost all suggestions - so be creative, ask me deep dark questions, ask me questions you think I might not have an answer for, make me think - you choose! I would also be willing to create a short story - on the topic of your choice.
I will keep the contest open through December 31, 2007!
The prize will be a gift card to Barnes and Noble and the joy of having me write something especially for you!
So here is the deal - I am trolling for writing topics again - I know I am creative and I can come up with them on my own - but sometimes it is fun to write about something someone else has suggested! I am open to almost all suggestions - so be creative, ask me deep dark questions, ask me questions you think I might not have an answer for, make me think - you choose! I would also be willing to create a short story - on the topic of your choice.
I will keep the contest open through December 31, 2007!
The prize will be a gift card to Barnes and Noble and the joy of having me write something especially for you!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Book Review; A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian
This is the book we are reading this month for my Book Club. The title - would make one think that it is going to be all about farm machinery and the like - but it is not. It is the story of Nadia, a late 40s University lecturer - her father, her older sister and their new "step-mother."It takes place over the span of 18months and is very realistic and takes on a number of social and geo-political issues in a way that sneaks them in through the back door - but addresses them nonetheless.
At times this book made me laugh out loud. I think that is a testament to the authors very clever story telling and the fact that the father in this book is very much the male version of my MIL. When Nadia - the narrator - is trying to get her 84 year old father on board with a plan - the interplay of culture and language and stubbornness reminds me very much of conversations and situation which arouse with my MIL as H and I dealt with her illness and growing dependence on us.
This book is a reasonable quick read but also thought provoking and very well written. It is a meaningful story and even though most of us might not have the cultural conflicts in out own families - the story has something to show us all.
Turn the page...
I know I am early for a looking back at the year post - but this is my blog, my time table and frankly on my mind. When I was younger - particularly as a college student and coming into young womanhood - I had the zeal and mind set of youth. I was charging forward, it was me against the world, watch out here I come. Did I feel that swagger - no not really. Did I see life for what it really is - a complicated stew of experiences, emotions, ideas, ideals and events. No!
Now as I have amassed some life experience, had my heart broken (sometimes little chips and one big - hugely hurtful crack down the middle), experienced the highest HIGHs and some lows, bore children and made some really big choices - I see and embrace the gray area for what it is. The Gray Area is the space we live in everyday. It is the cloudy area we make choices in - sometimes having all the facts and sometimes having some of the facts and sometimes having little but our gut to guide us. The Gray Area is the reality of life - people doing the best they have with what they have in front of them.
The best part of life - aside from the love and the joys it brings is nothing is permanent. I did not know that as a young woman. I was striving for perfection. I was so afraid of messing it up or making the wrong move. What if I failed. I know where this fear came from - now I no longer let it control me and therein lies the lesson I think.
Remember when you played ball as a kid and the coach said, "There is no do-over." Well in a sense that is true on the sports field - but in life there are many chances for a do-over. Will the experiences be exactly the same - will you have to work harder? Maybe. The beauty of life is you can turn the page. Once the page is written you cannot go back and change it - but you can choose what comprises the next chapter.
This year has been huge for me - I have finally tackled some really big things - within me. I have done the hard work, I have made some crucial decisions. In conversations with old friends and new - I sometimes get a pitying look when I explain that I have made some decisions and decided to make a fundamental changes. I do not want that. I made the choices I made in the past and do not regret them at all, now I have evaluated the reasons I made those choices and have CHOSEN to change. I am a collection of my experiences and they have lead me to this point - and for that alone I am grateful.
Is this an easy process - no! Does it hurt, yeah it does. Does it require you being completely honest with yourself - you betcha ya. It has lead for me to days staring out the window, feeling mopey, angry, cranky, thoughtful and many other emotions bundled into one. It has lead to more poetry than I ever thought I could write.It has lead to many of the blogs on this site and some not published - but saved because while I needed to write them - I did not want to share them. This introspection - has also lead to long pauses in the entries on this blog - while I process and rebuild key parts of me.
I think Maria Shiver once said - that women can and do have it all - but they cannot have it all at once. I think this is sound advice. I am learning that each chapter is ours to write in our own ways. Every time you turn the page or end a chapter - the next page is blank - it is yours to complete - on your own terms and at your own pace - if you are willing to embrace the process and proceed thoughtfully.
I have to say that 2007 has really been my year. I have made many changes - I have accomplished much - of which I am so very proud. I did not do it alone and I am sure there will be other times in my life - where I will need to devote a fair amount of time to self evaluation and personal change. But it sure feels good - turning the page.....
Now as I have amassed some life experience, had my heart broken (sometimes little chips and one big - hugely hurtful crack down the middle), experienced the highest HIGHs and some lows, bore children and made some really big choices - I see and embrace the gray area for what it is. The Gray Area is the space we live in everyday. It is the cloudy area we make choices in - sometimes having all the facts and sometimes having some of the facts and sometimes having little but our gut to guide us. The Gray Area is the reality of life - people doing the best they have with what they have in front of them.
The best part of life - aside from the love and the joys it brings is nothing is permanent. I did not know that as a young woman. I was striving for perfection. I was so afraid of messing it up or making the wrong move. What if I failed. I know where this fear came from - now I no longer let it control me and therein lies the lesson I think.
Remember when you played ball as a kid and the coach said, "There is no do-over." Well in a sense that is true on the sports field - but in life there are many chances for a do-over. Will the experiences be exactly the same - will you have to work harder? Maybe. The beauty of life is you can turn the page. Once the page is written you cannot go back and change it - but you can choose what comprises the next chapter.
This year has been huge for me - I have finally tackled some really big things - within me. I have done the hard work, I have made some crucial decisions. In conversations with old friends and new - I sometimes get a pitying look when I explain that I have made some decisions and decided to make a fundamental changes. I do not want that. I made the choices I made in the past and do not regret them at all, now I have evaluated the reasons I made those choices and have CHOSEN to change. I am a collection of my experiences and they have lead me to this point - and for that alone I am grateful.
Is this an easy process - no! Does it hurt, yeah it does. Does it require you being completely honest with yourself - you betcha ya. It has lead for me to days staring out the window, feeling mopey, angry, cranky, thoughtful and many other emotions bundled into one. It has lead to more poetry than I ever thought I could write.It has lead to many of the blogs on this site and some not published - but saved because while I needed to write them - I did not want to share them. This introspection - has also lead to long pauses in the entries on this blog - while I process and rebuild key parts of me.
I think Maria Shiver once said - that women can and do have it all - but they cannot have it all at once. I think this is sound advice. I am learning that each chapter is ours to write in our own ways. Every time you turn the page or end a chapter - the next page is blank - it is yours to complete - on your own terms and at your own pace - if you are willing to embrace the process and proceed thoughtfully.
I have to say that 2007 has really been my year. I have made many changes - I have accomplished much - of which I am so very proud. I did not do it alone and I am sure there will be other times in my life - where I will need to devote a fair amount of time to self evaluation and personal change. But it sure feels good - turning the page.....
Thursday, December 13, 2007
13 Things I do not want for Christmas
For some reason - despite my best efforts at junk mail and catalog eradication a copy of the Brookstone - Innovations for Home and Life arrived at our house yesterday. I was flipping through it this morning while eating breakfast and this post was born!
13 Things I do not want for Christmas
1. More war - listen up GW - get out your hearing aids! No more WAR - what the HELL are we fighting for?
2. Fruitcake - yuck, yuck, yuck (while we are on the subject - no Egg Nog H - or whatever that stuff is you whip up every year - it is vile - you know, I know - Everyone knows it!)
3. Coal - I have been a very good girl this year.... now carbon that has been compressed into sparklies - Yep I will take that! (hint hint ;) )
4. Small kitchen appliances - I am not really interested in anything that makes omelets on the counter or anything that juices carrots. I am a simple girl and frankly - if it has a cord I am told it cannot go in the dishwasher - I am a big fan of the dishwasher!
5. Holiday sweaters. Hear me and commit to memory - I am not in this lifetime or the next going to wear a holiday sweater. I think it is silly! It is just me - I am not the fashion police - but I refuse to wear said sweater - thank you!
6. A bucket for the beach complete with an iPod holder, charger and speakers. (pg 45 of Brookstone catalog!) Why? I would like a little iPod... for running - but a bucket. Please? Actually that is my response to almost - well ok everything - in that crazy catalog! Why?
7. Knick knacks or trinkets - you have to dust around them - takes more time... if they are glass I have to put them up high and frankly I am out of room! I am not into clutter!
8. Spam - the canned meat (yuck - never tried it and plan to die having never had the pleasure!) or the email variety. I have had it up to my eyeballs with ads for fake rolexes, cheap prescription drugs, penny stocks and penis enhancement.
9. Maybe it is the same as SPAM - but BS I so could live without anymore BS. Any form of BS, no more BS from people who look like friends and sometimes act that way (what was that about a wolf in sheep's clothing - see I should be taking notes.) No more BS from school, just none - I want no more BS and what I would really love is a sign - big neon one - that says - "BS FREE ZONE! LEAVE YOUR BS ELSEWHERE - THANKS!"
10. Puppies or kittens (or fish, hamsters, rats, turtles....) Rarely did I agree with much my MIL thought - but on this she was right on target. Just say no to house pets. They are messy, they smell, the do other things in the house I would rather not think about. The cuteness factor is negligible. I like animals. I was a practicing vegetarian for a long time. Along with this I will say I do not want a fur coat thank you very much. Animals look good in fur - I do not - but I also do not want the live animals in my house.
11. Snow - bah humbug! I do not want any more of it - seen it - built the snowman with L. Done - lets have some 60 degree weather and sunshine in the stocking - thank you very much!
12. Hunger - I have enough to eat - but hey GW - while you are so busy doing nothing - lame duck that you are - could you do something useful and smart and compassionate and feed the hungry. That people go to bed hungry in the US - is shameful - that you have chosen to ignore it for 8 years is doubly so!
13. Pictures of Brittany (or celebrate X) doing something stupid and wasteful and tacky! While I fully support your right to privacy and yes if you choose to swim naked in your pool behind the 16 foot privacy fence - as an American or ok a human being - this is your right - but in public and this includes the grocery store, restuarant, night club, street, park, and Starbucks - please act with manners and set a good example - for better or worse you are a role model - act like - it is part of the job! (Heck I am just an aspiring author - but in public I put my best foot forwards and do my best to make my mama proud.)
1. More war - listen up GW - get out your hearing aids! No more WAR - what the HELL are we fighting for?
2. Fruitcake - yuck, yuck, yuck (while we are on the subject - no Egg Nog H - or whatever that stuff is you whip up every year - it is vile - you know, I know - Everyone knows it!)
3. Coal - I have been a very good girl this year.... now carbon that has been compressed into sparklies - Yep I will take that! (hint hint ;) )
4. Small kitchen appliances - I am not really interested in anything that makes omelets on the counter or anything that juices carrots. I am a simple girl and frankly - if it has a cord I am told it cannot go in the dishwasher - I am a big fan of the dishwasher!
5. Holiday sweaters. Hear me and commit to memory - I am not in this lifetime or the next going to wear a holiday sweater. I think it is silly! It is just me - I am not the fashion police - but I refuse to wear said sweater - thank you!
6. A bucket for the beach complete with an iPod holder, charger and speakers. (pg 45 of Brookstone catalog!) Why? I would like a little iPod... for running - but a bucket. Please? Actually that is my response to almost - well ok everything - in that crazy catalog! Why?
7. Knick knacks or trinkets - you have to dust around them - takes more time... if they are glass I have to put them up high and frankly I am out of room! I am not into clutter!
8. Spam - the canned meat (yuck - never tried it and plan to die having never had the pleasure!) or the email variety. I have had it up to my eyeballs with ads for fake rolexes, cheap prescription drugs, penny stocks and penis enhancement.
9. Maybe it is the same as SPAM - but BS I so could live without anymore BS. Any form of BS, no more BS from people who look like friends and sometimes act that way (what was that about a wolf in sheep's clothing - see I should be taking notes.) No more BS from school, just none - I want no more BS and what I would really love is a sign - big neon one - that says - "BS FREE ZONE! LEAVE YOUR BS ELSEWHERE - THANKS!"
10. Puppies or kittens (or fish, hamsters, rats, turtles....) Rarely did I agree with much my MIL thought - but on this she was right on target. Just say no to house pets. They are messy, they smell, the do other things in the house I would rather not think about. The cuteness factor is negligible. I like animals. I was a practicing vegetarian for a long time. Along with this I will say I do not want a fur coat thank you very much. Animals look good in fur - I do not - but I also do not want the live animals in my house.
11. Snow - bah humbug! I do not want any more of it - seen it - built the snowman with L. Done - lets have some 60 degree weather and sunshine in the stocking - thank you very much!
12. Hunger - I have enough to eat - but hey GW - while you are so busy doing nothing - lame duck that you are - could you do something useful and smart and compassionate and feed the hungry. That people go to bed hungry in the US - is shameful - that you have chosen to ignore it for 8 years is doubly so!
13. Pictures of Brittany (or celebrate X) doing something stupid and wasteful and tacky! While I fully support your right to privacy and yes if you choose to swim naked in your pool behind the 16 foot privacy fence - as an American or ok a human being - this is your right - but in public and this includes the grocery store, restuarant, night club, street, park, and Starbucks - please act with manners and set a good example - for better or worse you are a role model - act like - it is part of the job! (Heck I am just an aspiring author - but in public I put my best foot forwards and do my best to make my mama proud.)
Monday, December 10, 2007
From Iceland with Love
I have discovered chocolate from heaven. Well ok not heaven - but a small island which must be heaven for chocoholics like myself! NOI SIRIUS makes the best dark chocolate ever. It comes in bars - two of them wrapped in wax paper - like the ones above. They are wonderful.
Today however I found something even more wonderful. Hazelnuts covered in 70% Dark Chocolate. Little pebbles from heaven those guys. Yummy!
I have found this slice of chocolate heaven at Whole Foods. You can check out their website - but it is in Icelandic and I am not sure that is helpful to most of us.....
Writers Notebook
Well I have heard nothing back on the short story I submitted about a month ago. I am going to go with a they are not into it. I also have not heard from the literary journal I submitted my poetry and a short story - so again I am thinking they are not impressed.
So it is onward and upward. I am going to work on a novella for submission to another contest - this time with a well known publisher. I have the story outlined and I have the fist 1000 words written - and sometimes that is the hard part.
I also have an idea for a personal essay for another journal I have been reading.
So there are no shortage of ideas bouncing around over here. Someone will like something - eventually!
I should also mention that the poetry is flowing out of me - at an alarming rate. Maybe I should tell people I am a poet........
So it is onward and upward. I am going to work on a novella for submission to another contest - this time with a well known publisher. I have the story outlined and I have the fist 1000 words written - and sometimes that is the hard part.
I also have an idea for a personal essay for another journal I have been reading.
So there are no shortage of ideas bouncing around over here. Someone will like something - eventually!
I should also mention that the poetry is flowing out of me - at an alarming rate. Maybe I should tell people I am a poet........
Friday, December 7, 2007
I have come to realize....
The "I've come to realize" survey. I got tagged again.....
1. I've come to realize that, my last good-bye kiss: was short and sweet and more of a hug and so the right thing to do!
2. I've come to realize that, I talk: alot to some people and hardly at all to others. Sometimes I talk about important stuff and other times I keep it light - and ironically it is less dependent on the strength and depth of the friendship but rather my mood.
3. I've come to realize that, I like : the direction my life has taken - even though I had had a different plan in my head. Going with the flow and then making changes - is ok.
4. I've come to realize that, I have: many blessings and much to share with others.
5. I've come to realize that, I've lost: my mind - but it is ok - I will find it again - or not!
6. I've come to realize that, I hate it when: people are mean and rude.
7. I've come to realize that, Marriage is: like a child or lover - it must be nurtured, appreciated, praised, and enjoyed. It can take on any form that you give it and is defined only by the parties involved and not society and her norms. Trying to make your marriage just like everyone else's - is the short road to disaster.
8. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking: exactly what I thinking and that is a scary thought!
9. I've come to realize that, I'll always: be a leftist, tree hugging, writer - who cares more about honesty and peace and kindness that fitting in and being part of the "it" crowd.
11. I've come to realize that, The last time I truly cried was: along time ago.
12. I've come to realize that, My cell phone: is valuable but also a pain and no matter how hard I try to keep it handy - it keeps running away from me anyway!
14. I've come to realize that, Before I go to sleep at night: I rarely pray - but I think about all the people who are important to me.
15. I've come to realize that, Right now I am thinking about: walking over to school to see L and give her the stuff we left on the table this morning.
16. I've come to realize that, Babies: are wonderful and they do grow up and each stage is better and different than the last.
17. I've come to realize that, I go shopping: only when I have to and in binges and that it not as much fun as some of my friends think it is and that I have little patience for it. (Unless I am shopping with SS or JS and then I could go forever!)
18. I've come to realize that, Today: I am happier than I was 2 days ago.
19. I've come to realize that, Tonight I will : be going out with a really wonderful man - who loves me and likes my company - whether I am chatty or not and who has put up with a fair amount of odd behavior, artistic angst, self discovery and well girliness - and loves me anyway!
20. I've come to realize that, Tomorrow I will : be shopping for condos with my mom.
21. I've come to realize that, I really want: to live the hell out of my life on my terms and be the woman I have always known myself to be.
22. I've come to realize that, The person who is most likely to repost this is: whoever it speaks too or whoever has some time.
1. I've come to realize that, my last good-bye kiss: was short and sweet and more of a hug and so the right thing to do!
2. I've come to realize that, I talk: alot to some people and hardly at all to others. Sometimes I talk about important stuff and other times I keep it light - and ironically it is less dependent on the strength and depth of the friendship but rather my mood.
3. I've come to realize that, I like : the direction my life has taken - even though I had had a different plan in my head. Going with the flow and then making changes - is ok.
4. I've come to realize that, I have: many blessings and much to share with others.
5. I've come to realize that, I've lost: my mind - but it is ok - I will find it again - or not!
6. I've come to realize that, I hate it when: people are mean and rude.
7. I've come to realize that, Marriage is: like a child or lover - it must be nurtured, appreciated, praised, and enjoyed. It can take on any form that you give it and is defined only by the parties involved and not society and her norms. Trying to make your marriage just like everyone else's - is the short road to disaster.
8. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking: exactly what I thinking and that is a scary thought!
9. I've come to realize that, I'll always: be a leftist, tree hugging, writer - who cares more about honesty and peace and kindness that fitting in and being part of the "it" crowd.
11. I've come to realize that, The last time I truly cried was: along time ago.
12. I've come to realize that, My cell phone: is valuable but also a pain and no matter how hard I try to keep it handy - it keeps running away from me anyway!
14. I've come to realize that, Before I go to sleep at night: I rarely pray - but I think about all the people who are important to me.
15. I've come to realize that, Right now I am thinking about: walking over to school to see L and give her the stuff we left on the table this morning.
16. I've come to realize that, Babies: are wonderful and they do grow up and each stage is better and different than the last.
17. I've come to realize that, I go shopping: only when I have to and in binges and that it not as much fun as some of my friends think it is and that I have little patience for it. (Unless I am shopping with SS or JS and then I could go forever!)
18. I've come to realize that, Today: I am happier than I was 2 days ago.
19. I've come to realize that, Tonight I will : be going out with a really wonderful man - who loves me and likes my company - whether I am chatty or not and who has put up with a fair amount of odd behavior, artistic angst, self discovery and well girliness - and loves me anyway!
20. I've come to realize that, Tomorrow I will : be shopping for condos with my mom.
21. I've come to realize that, I really want: to live the hell out of my life on my terms and be the woman I have always known myself to be.
22. I've come to realize that, The person who is most likely to repost this is: whoever it speaks too or whoever has some time.
Polly want a cracker?
Well if Polly does not I sure would! Rice cakes are nice and I have found some I really like - but some things work better with a cracker.
Blue Diamond Nut*Thins are a rice and nut meal cracker which taste out of this world. They are crispy, crunchy and have a nice nutty flavor and the texture is great. You can also eat 16 crackers for 130 calories - give or take and that is not too shabby!
I eat them with Nutella, Hummus, Soy Cream Cheese, Fig Hazelnut Spread, and various Indian chutneys. I have tried them with salsa and well that was not a pleasant combo.
I prefer the Pecan and Hazelnuts varieties but in a pinch I will eat the almond ones. L & E also both like them, but I rarely like to share - I mean they can eat all the crackers in the world and I can eat these!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
"Are you wearing your scarf?"
"Are you wearing your scarf?" is what L bellowed out the door to me as I shoveled the driveway. We so have snow today. In fact it is still falling - but I can only manage so much at a time - so many times I shovel only to shovel again. Where is H you say? Well he is on a tropical beach working on his tan and collecting fish stories. (Seriously - he took a few days for R & R with his buddies.)
I know I have mentioned that I hate snow and I do - but it was pretty this morning and not wicked cold! Plus I had L & E checking on my progress.
At the very end and I came back inside E said, "You done? I see more snow over there!" Right it was still falling and I know what I will be doing later today.
I know I have mentioned that I hate snow and I do - but it was pretty this morning and not wicked cold! Plus I had L & E checking on my progress.
At the very end and I came back inside E said, "You done? I see more snow over there!" Right it was still falling and I know what I will be doing later today.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Ouch that hurts...
Today I saw Dr. M - who can I just say is so awesome. He is my chiropractor and natural medicine doctor - yep the one who has me on the wacky eating plan! I love him! He fixes up my hips and shoulders - which sadly have not survived motherhood completely enacted! I liken my post baby body to that of Humpty Dumpty. The kings men may have very well put him back together again - but is anything ever really as good as new. I think not. I have come back together very nicely - but there are still some minor issues.
Today was a regularly schedule visit! But had it not been - I would have begged an audience anyway. My right hip was killing me. I had run on Friday and gutted out the 5K - but I could tell all was not well. Then on Saturday the playing in the pool and the walking around the Winter Wonderland in the cold - did not help matters and then I was sitting in our big chair and my posture was not the best.
Come Monday, I could hardly do the leg work out with my trainer - ouchy! Last night I had a very loud creaky cracking popping noise and some relief but not much. Then today in Yoga I could so tell not all was well.
So by the time I hobbled into his office I was ready to start popping pills! Well in short order he found the spot - Yikes that hurt - worked it out and adjusted me and I am like a new girl! Wow! So he sent me home and told me to soak in a hot bath for the next three days and gave me some stretched to do for the next week or so and told me, "For goodness sake if it hurts to run over the next week - Don't!" Ok Ok will try to be good.
My problem is - I have an high pain tolerance - really I do! I can take alot - before I throw in the towel. I have over the the course of my life dealt with TMJ and the associated headaches (all resolved by the way), endometerious and an ruptured ovarian cyst - um yeah that hurts. I also choose to have both L & E the old fashion way and I would do it again! It was not that bad - but all of this does not prove I am superwoman - only that I can handle a fair amount of pain and manage. This is good for my liver - less need to take medication but bad - because I gut it out and could be causing some damage - especially with the hip situation.
So I am going to take it easy and be a good girl.
Today was a regularly schedule visit! But had it not been - I would have begged an audience anyway. My right hip was killing me. I had run on Friday and gutted out the 5K - but I could tell all was not well. Then on Saturday the playing in the pool and the walking around the Winter Wonderland in the cold - did not help matters and then I was sitting in our big chair and my posture was not the best.
Come Monday, I could hardly do the leg work out with my trainer - ouchy! Last night I had a very loud creaky cracking popping noise and some relief but not much. Then today in Yoga I could so tell not all was well.
So by the time I hobbled into his office I was ready to start popping pills! Well in short order he found the spot - Yikes that hurt - worked it out and adjusted me and I am like a new girl! Wow! So he sent me home and told me to soak in a hot bath for the next three days and gave me some stretched to do for the next week or so and told me, "For goodness sake if it hurts to run over the next week - Don't!" Ok Ok will try to be good.
My problem is - I have an high pain tolerance - really I do! I can take alot - before I throw in the towel. I have over the the course of my life dealt with TMJ and the associated headaches (all resolved by the way), endometerious and an ruptured ovarian cyst - um yeah that hurts. I also choose to have both L & E the old fashion way and I would do it again! It was not that bad - but all of this does not prove I am superwoman - only that I can handle a fair amount of pain and manage. This is good for my liver - less need to take medication but bad - because I gut it out and could be causing some damage - especially with the hip situation.
So I am going to take it easy and be a good girl.
My Autobiography
I got tagged by a friend! So I am posting this! It is fun - if you would like to do it also, just copy it and fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and re post as, my autobiography.
-Prologue-
1. Who took your default pic?
H did - he did a great job I think!
2. Exactly what are you wearing right now?
MY pjs!
3. What is your current problem?
Waiting and hoping someone either throws some freelance my way and to to remeber that success is a long lonely road!
4. What makes you most happy?
Everything - I wake up happy!
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
Night on Fire - VHS or Beta
6. Do you like MTV?
No not really. I rarely watch TV!
7. Name something that annoys you about people:
Well people who do not reply to email tend to make me seethe a bit. People who are rude - that I find annoying also.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1:
1. Nickname(s)?
Sus - but only a select few can use it!
2. Eye color?
Blue - Grey - Green
3. Hair color?
Red-Brown
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2:
1. Do you live with your parent(s)?
No
2. Do you get along with your parent(s)?
for the most part
3. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
divorced
4. Do you have any Siblings?
1 bro & 1 half sister - both younger
___________________________________________________
Chapter 3:
FAVORITES
1. Ice Cream:
um - well no it makes me ill!
2. season:
Fall. I like the crisp blue sky - the chill in the air and the chance to have Indian Summer
3. book:
Love them - the way the look, the way they smell, the way they feel!
4. band:
Currently I am jamming to James, VHS or Beta & Shiny Toy Guns
6. drink(s) (non alcoholic):
tea then coffee
7. drink(s) (alcoholic):
rarely drink it - red wine when I do
9. pen color:
whatever is handy and my green and red fine point sharpies!
10. store:
the one with the big red SALE sign!
_________________________________________________
Chapter 4:
DO YOU-
1.Write on your hand?
sometimes - when I was working my hand and up my arm
2. Call people back?
Yes and usually within 24 hours
3. Believe in love?
Yes and it is lovely
4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Yes!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5:
Have You....
1. Broken a bone?
NO
2. If so... where?
N/A
3. Had physical therapy?
No but I love my chiropractor. He can work magic. My massage therapist is a close second
4. Gotten surgery?
Yes
5. Taken painkillers?
Yes - when needed
6. Are you gay?
Sure I am a happy happy girl!
7. Been stung by a bee?
yes
8. Threw up in a doctors office?
No but I did throw up while giving birth to L - does that count?
________________________________________
Chapter 6:
Who/what was the last
2. Person to text you?
I am all alone
3. Thing you touched?
The mouse
5. Thing you said?
I am alone ans try not to talk to myself
7. Person you hugged?
L and E before bed
8. Person to call u?
the phone has been very quiet today!
11. Last book you read?
A short history of tractors in the Ukraine
12. Time you cleaned your room?
Yesterday
-Prologue-
1. Who took your default pic?
H did - he did a great job I think!
2. Exactly what are you wearing right now?
MY pjs!
3. What is your current problem?
Waiting and hoping someone either throws some freelance my way and to to remeber that success is a long lonely road!
4. What makes you most happy?
Everything - I wake up happy!
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
Night on Fire - VHS or Beta
6. Do you like MTV?
No not really. I rarely watch TV!
7. Name something that annoys you about people:
Well people who do not reply to email tend to make me seethe a bit. People who are rude - that I find annoying also.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1:
1. Nickname(s)?
Sus - but only a select few can use it!
2. Eye color?
Blue - Grey - Green
3. Hair color?
Red-Brown
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2:
1. Do you live with your parent(s)?
No
2. Do you get along with your parent(s)?
for the most part
3. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
divorced
4. Do you have any Siblings?
1 bro & 1 half sister - both younger
___________________________________________________
Chapter 3:
FAVORITES
1. Ice Cream:
um - well no it makes me ill!
2. season:
Fall. I like the crisp blue sky - the chill in the air and the chance to have Indian Summer
3. book:
Love them - the way the look, the way they smell, the way they feel!
4. band:
Currently I am jamming to James, VHS or Beta & Shiny Toy Guns
6. drink(s) (non alcoholic):
tea then coffee
7. drink(s) (alcoholic):
rarely drink it - red wine when I do
9. pen color:
whatever is handy and my green and red fine point sharpies!
10. store:
the one with the big red SALE sign!
_________________________________________________
Chapter 4:
DO YOU-
1.Write on your hand?
sometimes - when I was working my hand and up my arm
2. Call people back?
Yes and usually within 24 hours
3. Believe in love?
Yes and it is lovely
4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Yes!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5:
Have You....
1. Broken a bone?
NO
2. If so... where?
N/A
3. Had physical therapy?
No but I love my chiropractor. He can work magic. My massage therapist is a close second
4. Gotten surgery?
Yes
5. Taken painkillers?
Yes - when needed
6. Are you gay?
Sure I am a happy happy girl!
7. Been stung by a bee?
yes
8. Threw up in a doctors office?
No but I did throw up while giving birth to L - does that count?
________________________________________
Chapter 6:
Who/what was the last
2. Person to text you?
I am all alone
3. Thing you touched?
The mouse
5. Thing you said?
I am alone ans try not to talk to myself
7. Person you hugged?
L and E before bed
8. Person to call u?
the phone has been very quiet today!
11. Last book you read?
A short history of tractors in the Ukraine
12. Time you cleaned your room?
Yesterday
Monday, December 3, 2007
On no - was that snow?
Well it has happened. It is really really winter in Ohio. We had snow this afternoon. Not alot mind you - just enough the show up on the dark brown mulch and the deck! Not anything like the storm in the Northeast.
I just happen to dislike snow. It is cold, wet, makes a mess, requires me to shovel it off the drive way. It also turns driving into a exercise of avoiding certain death. No one in certain parts of Ohio knows how to drive in the snow. It is not an every day winter occurrence and I understand that - but please do not drive 50 miles per hour down the unplowed side streets and expect to be able to stop!
For our first wedding anniversary we went to Breckenridge, CO - which is a lovely place. Like an Alpine village. We went skiing. I have mixed feelings about skiing - it is cold and if you fall as much as I do - then you end up with a wet butt. What is fun I ask you about a cold wet butt? My feelings about the chair lift are a complete post of their own - in any event after three days I asked H what about skiing was preferable to spending a week on a warm sunny beach?
I just am not a fan of snow - but I need to get over it. I plan to mourn the official passing of Fall the rest of the day and then attempt to embrace winter. It is only a few months long (I hope!) and I need to just get over it and put on a smiley face. On the upside - I am going to smile when I go outside anyway - it is cold enough to freeze the frown on my face and that would be terrible!
I just happen to dislike snow. It is cold, wet, makes a mess, requires me to shovel it off the drive way. It also turns driving into a exercise of avoiding certain death. No one in certain parts of Ohio knows how to drive in the snow. It is not an every day winter occurrence and I understand that - but please do not drive 50 miles per hour down the unplowed side streets and expect to be able to stop!
For our first wedding anniversary we went to Breckenridge, CO - which is a lovely place. Like an Alpine village. We went skiing. I have mixed feelings about skiing - it is cold and if you fall as much as I do - then you end up with a wet butt. What is fun I ask you about a cold wet butt? My feelings about the chair lift are a complete post of their own - in any event after three days I asked H what about skiing was preferable to spending a week on a warm sunny beach?
I just am not a fan of snow - but I need to get over it. I plan to mourn the official passing of Fall the rest of the day and then attempt to embrace winter. It is only a few months long (I hope!) and I need to just get over it and put on a smiley face. On the upside - I am going to smile when I go outside anyway - it is cold enough to freeze the frown on my face and that would be terrible!
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Good Karma - Indeed!
I have discovered Good Karma Rice Divine - sort of a cross between sorbet and ice cream - only dairy, wheat and corn syrup free. And wait.... it really really tastes good! I tried the very vanilla and I have to say that it has a nice smooth taste and is not overly sweet - which is a plus - the longer I eat foods that are not processed or lacking high fructose corn syrup I have noticed that I cannot tolerate anything overly sweet!
I also must say that it is not terribly expensive either. $2.49 at the local Sun Flower Market!
I asked H to taste it also - because honestly I have not eaten real ice cream in sooooo long - that I forget what it actually tastes like. H felt it was very good and had a texture not unlike low-fat ice cream. All I can say is it tastes like a dream to me!
I also must say that it is not terribly expensive either. $2.49 at the local Sun Flower Market!
I asked H to taste it also - because honestly I have not eaten real ice cream in sooooo long - that I forget what it actually tastes like. H felt it was very good and had a texture not unlike low-fat ice cream. All I can say is it tastes like a dream to me!
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