Do you remember doing "trust falls" when you were younger, in a team building exercise? I was never very good at them. I mean in a pinch I think I would trust someone to catch me - but do I really need to test this in practice. Same thing with bungee jumping and sky diving - if ever I absolutely have to jump out of a plane or off a bridge - I think I could rise to the occasion and do what it takes - but "practice it for fun" - can I pass?
Now I have friends who have gone bungee jumping and sky diving - they have described the rush of the free fall and the sheer excitement of being weightless - if only for a few moments. It sounds wonderful. (I am still not going to do it.)
The other day in the park, H & I were watching L & E play and I was sitting on the ledge of the jungle gym structure and H wanted me to lean back and do a "trust fall." I could not do it. Now I know with all of my heart that H would catch me. He has done so in so many ways in the past. I trust him with my life - but I still could let myself fall off the ledge.
Today as I drove to the airport for my flight to NYC, I was thinking about how much I do love and trust H. We actually have a bit of an inside joke - "Who is always right?" (Hint - it is not me!) So today as I drove to the airport, following his time table to the letter, I was struck by how right he is. He had my travels mapped out by 5 minute increments. Now he should know - but my point is I trust him. I know he is giving me good advice. It has always been this way.
So while I might not be willing (or perhaps it is I am willing - just not able) to lean back off the the jungle gym and fall. I am willing and able to do listen to his sound advice, to trust him with all of my love and really - that means all the world to me.