Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Sweet Silence

I think I have shared that my little voice can be loud and demanding. Sometimes more so than others. As many of us, I to tend to have a pretty busy life. Running here, running there. I am often juggling a number of activities, schedules and the like. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.

I have for many years sought a means to quiet the noise - both in the world around me and in my head, so that I can focus on myself and have some time to just be. Just being is a skill. It requires dedication to finding a quiet and focused center inside. It demands that you be willing to give up some time and focus on you. For some people this can be very helpful and rejuvenating. For others is can be really hard.

H can tell you, I used to be a horrible figit! I could not sit still, I had to be constantly moving about or doing something. I was never one to just sit on the sofa or be able to snuggle together - without moving about. Alas, I am also a mental figit. In part due to my voice raising a ruckus and in part to always having ideas bouncing around. Ideas I am thinking about, things I am kicking around. I think sometimes the mental figiting caused some of the physical.

Until recently, I have tried many things to quiet down my mind - with varying degrees of success. Yoga tends to work really well - sometimes - but never have I felt that I have truly cleared my head of thoughts. Yes I can focus on the poses and the breathing - I can feel really grounded in my body, but all the while - in some little corner of my mind, that little voice is whispering away at me or worse yet some heavy thoughts pop into my mind to play.

However, all of that said, I am happy to say that last night during Yoga, I did it. I got my mind to be very still and quiet. I was breathing and focused on each inhalation and exhalation. I had a good rhythm going and I felt very present in my body and all of sudden I felt it, very clearly. My mind was at peace and my body was there active in the poses. It was as if something deep inside me found its center. I was balancing physically, but it was if my mind and body were also in perfect balance.

It was wonderful.

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