12 Days of Christmas - Four calling birds

Don't call me. I am on the do not call list, I do not want to talk on the phone. For 10 years, in my former job, the phone was my life, I was on the phone nonstop, if I was in the office, I was on the phone. I dislike the phone greatly.

There are a few people, I can count them on both hands with fingers to spare, who I want to talk to and that is it. These are people I actually know or the parents of kids my kids know. These kinds of calls I am more than ok with, but people calling to waste my time with things I am not going to buy, no thank you.

While we are talking about phone pet peeves, I shall list mine in no particular order:

• Businesses who ask for your phone number when they ring you up. I always say no.
• Automated "thank you for your business calls" - If my business was truly valuable, you would call me in person to thank me.
• Political calls by a human annoy me, political calls by a computer make me nuts. I am on the do not call list and I think that should include everyone. Unless I have given you my number personally, DO NOT CALL ME.
• Doctor's offices who have an automated reminder call, but who stipulate you must cancel this appointment 48 hours (business days only) prior or incur a missed appointment fee. They call you on a Saturday morning for a Monday morning appointment. This makes them look stupid and sloppy and honestly, I am not sure I want to go to a doctor who is sloppy or stupid.
• Solicitations of any kind, honestly I am a woman of the 21st Century. If you have even done an ok job of establishing a web presences I will find you. No phones needed.
• Inappropriate cell phone use. In general, no one wants to hear your conversation with your BFF about your UTI, which you think you got cuz you shagged some guy you met in a bar, while you browse the shoes section at Macy's. I don't and my kids sure don't.

And while on the topic of phones, I think we should abolish the phone book. I have tried repeatedly to stop the delivery of the phone book with very mixed results. It is soon to be 2012, I have no need for the phone book. First of all I have a smart phone and second of all, I avoid using the phone as much as possible. I shouldn't have to opt out, I think people should have to opt in, if you want the phone book, pick up the phone and call them and request it.

If the calling birds are homing pigeons, that could open up the topic of junk mail, but that is another post for another day.